Return to Gravity Falls: The Equestria Chronicles
by ArkansanDragon
Summary: One year after Weirdmageddon, the Pines reunite in Gravity Falls for another summer of adventure. A fall into Equestria wasn't what they had in mind though, or being turned into colorful ponies... SPOILERS for Gravity Falls' season 2 & series finale (Seriously, GF is best gone into blind!). Set during MLP:FIM Season 6 after "The Crystalling".
1. Prologues: Sleepless in the Multiverse

The tremor of magic through space and time was strong enough to wake Discord from sleep.

He jolted out of bed, every sense on alert. "That's odd... Did the Princesses transfer their magic again? But why would they- ?" Quickly conjuring an old blocky television set, he flipped through the channels until he had spotted all four Alicorns. Luna was on night patrol, Cadance and Celestia were sleeping, and Twilight was pulling another all night study session, something about her becoming an aunt soon... But all of them looked normal. He stroked his beard in thought with his lion's paw, then focused his attention on Equestria's magic field. Everything there felt normal too. He reached further with his power, to the edges of their dimension and his pocket realm. Still, there was nothing out of place.

Sticking a satellite dish atop his television, Discord flipped through even more channels, this time showing views of different worlds. There wasn't much of interest going on that night. Hero versus villain, villain versus hero, the Multiverse Geographic channel was doing a special on killer marshmallows in dimension 618... The draconequus ground his teeth in annoyance. SOMETHING had to have happened! Surely he had not just dreamed it.

Something yellow caught his eye, and he flipped back a few channels. The scene was of a small town, about the size of Ponyville and surrounded by dense forest. The valley the town and forest were nestled in was bordered by mountains and a pair of high cliffs with an unusual shape to them. It looked to Discord as if one of those classic saucer shaped UFOs had crashed right through the middle of the cliffs, leaving a nearly perfect hole in the craft's exact shape. But there were stranger things at the moment which caught his attention. There was a giant cross-shaped rip in the sky with nauseating colors oozing beyond it, and on the town side of it the sky was a mix of sickly yellows, reds and greens. Hovering just before that wound in the sky was a yellow triangle-shaped creature with skinny black arms and legs, a thin top-hat and bow-tie, and a single white eye with a slitted black pupil in the center of its face. It was cackling madly, arms spread in welcome and eye shining in triumph.

"Well well... " said Discord, breaking into a smirk, "Bill Cipher! So the old coot finally got that little hick lumber town he was after. Third time's the charm, I suppose! Hmm. I've got nothing better to do right now. This should be an interesting 22 minutes."

But the "Weirdmageddon" Bill wrought upon the helpless town lasted much longer than 22 minutes... Two whole hours were spent filming the five day siege, and by the end of it Discord was munching on popcorn. One thing that irked him was how the camera-being kept jump-cutting forward in time and skipping over all the wonderful chaos. If anything, the camera seemed more interested in following the underdog "heroes" trying to defeat Bill and save their dimension. The other annoyance was that Bill had invited _Cthulhu_ of all things to this apocalyptic party, but not him, Discord! As such he was rather pleased with how the elder demon was defeated near the end of the show. Served that jerk right. And destroying his entire home-realm? That was a bit much even for a fellow chaos god. There was no fun to it if you had nothing left to rule over afterwards!

When the town was returned to normal after Bill's defeat, Discord felt another ripple of magic through the cosmos. Although the hole in space-time was closing, this had the same feel as the first ripple of magic, so it was not hard to guess that what had woken him up was Bill opening that rip in the sky over Gravity Falls. It took great power to rend or seal a hole that large in the fabric of space-time between dimensions.

The spectacle now over, Discord banished the television and his empty popcorn bucket, stretched himself with a yawn, and went back to bed. All too soon, he completely forgot about Bill Cipher and the little town of Gravity Falls.

But all too soon, that would come back to bite him...

* * *

Gravity Falls, Oregon, USA: One Year After Weirdmageddon...

"Stanley. Stanley, wake up!"

Someone was shaking him, but Stanley Pines tried hard to ignore it, swatting at the hand in annoyance. Whatever it was could wait until morning...

The voice called him again, urgent, and the shaking grew rougher. He knew that voice... Knew the six-fingered grip of his twin's hands on his arm... Why couldn't Stanford just let him sleep? What could possibly be so important?

He felt one hand shift to his neck, fingers pressed lightly against the arteries. What was Ford doing? Stan swatted at his brother again, but Ford ignored it, keeping his hand where it was and counting under his breath.

A few moments later Ford removed the hand from his brother's neck, only to try and pry open one of the sleeping man's eyes and shine a flashlight in it.

That was quite enough for Stan. "Darn it Sixer!" he snapped, jerking away and covering his eyes from the painful light. "Can't an old man sleep in peace?!"

"Not in the middle of the woods," said Ford sternly. "And certainly not in your boxers."

"Says the guy who sleeps in a trench coat!" Stan shot back, grabbing blindly at Ford's arm as the latter came at him with the flashlight again. Then the words registered. "Wait. What?"

Ford took the distraction to shine the light in both of Stan's eyes, expertly dodging the instinctive left hook aimed at his face.

"What gives?!" yelped Stan, rubbing at his now-sore eyes.

"Sorry." said Ford, helping him to stand and throwing a blanket over his shoulders. "I had to be sure you were fully awake this time."

"I'm awake _now_. And why were you checking my pulse?"

Ford rolled his eyes, as if the answer was obvious. "You know what they say about waking sleepwalkers. The last thing you need is a heart attack. Luckily, you seem to be fine."

"I... I was sleepwalking again?" The old man blinked, looking around them in a daze. Even missing his glasses, he still knew what the inside of their house looked like, and this was not it. The pine needles stuck to his undershirt from where he had been lying, the ground beneath his slippers, and the chill night breeze only confirmed it.

"Yes," confirmed Ford, his voice laced with worry. "That's the third time this week." He kept an arm across Stan's shoulders, guiding him through the redwood trees and lighting their path with the flashlight. "Is there something you're not telling me?"

"Uh..." Stan ran a hand through his grey mullet uncomfortably, his gruff voice making the next mumbled words unintelligible.

Ford raised an eyebrow and adjusted his own glasses. Aside from Ford's polydactylism, and subtle facial differences, the twins were physically identical. Both were Caucasian, with brown eyes, large orange noses, big ears, and fluffy grey hair, though Ford's had a band of silver that ran through the sideburns and around the back. Both seemed to have constant five o'clock shadow, but Stan's was more noticeable, having grey stubble. Although Stan had been fatter around the gut than Ford last year, several recent months of sailing through the harsh arctic sea on a research trip had left them both lean with muscle and still strong for men in their late sixties.

Stan remained silent, avoiding his brother's searching gaze. The stalemate was broken when Ford suddenly pulled them both back from the edge of the Bottomless Pit.

Skirting around the strange wormhole turned tourist attraction, Ford changed the subject. "We're almost home now."

"Good!" said Stan. "I can't see a thing out here. Where are my glasses?"

"You left them on your desk. By the way, you should probably have those cataracts removed. I've seen how you drive."

Stan laughed at that. "And shell out my life savings to some quack doctor? No thank you!"

Ford smirked, shaking his head. "I could do it for you, in that case," he said, his softer voice causal. "Seems a simple enough procedure. How hard could it be?"

Stan actually stopped walking at that. He poked the other man in the chest, noticing the signature red sweater and tan trench coat. "Ford, you routinely set your face on fire because it's 'faster than shaving'. You may be a crack shot with that laser gun of yours, but there is no way I'm letting you perform eye surgery on me."

Ford just chuckled, giving Stan an affectionate noogie. "I was joking, you knucklehead. But seriously, you should get those looked at. Now come on. We've got an early day tomorrow."

"What happens tomorrow?" asked Stan, stifling a yawn as they approached the welcoming glow of the Mystery Shack's lights. The old, run-down house served not only has a home to the older Pines twins, but was also the town's local tourist trap. Although the place was called a "shack", it was actually closer in size to a large, two-story cabin, and had a number of rooms throughout. Those rooms that weren't used as living space by the family were filled with hand-crafted taxidermy mash-ups, among other fake oddities, set on display in museum-style exhibits for the tourists. There was also a gift shop.

"The first day of summer, remember?" Ford prompted. At the confused look, he clarified, "Dipper and Mabel are coming back!"

"Oh yeah!..." Stan tried to sound excited, but only managed another yawn, already half asleep again. "Really missed those kids..."

Ford just smiled, now half carrying the other into the house. It would be good to see their great-niece and great-nephew again.

Finally settling his sleeping twin into bed, a shadow passed over Ford's face. Stan's behavior had shifted just after their return from the voyage to the arctic sea studying anomalies. At first, it had been only a tired look in his eyes. Then the nightmares had started, though when confronted, Stan had grown defensive, insisting nothing was wrong. Knowing how headstrong they both were, Ford had dropped the subject to avoid a fight, but kept a closer watch on his brother. Now he was sleepwalking, and the episodes were getting more frequent...

Although he had hidden it from Stan, tonight had badly shaken Ford. This had been the farthest that Stan had wandered yet, although thankfully he hadn't hurt himself or been caught by a nocturnal creature. But why had he been sleeping at the foot of Bill Cipher's petrified remains?

* * *

Author's Notes: So after the epic Gravity Falls finale that was Weirdmageddon, and the welcome surprise of MLP's season 6 starting, I got inspired to write this. Hope you like it! Also, to those wondering about Daring Do and the Order of the Eagle, yes, I do plan on continuing it and fixing those first chapters. But I currently have writer's block for it, unfortunately, as well as other projects, so that might take a little while. :(


	2. Reunions

It was morning as the two great-uncles waited at the bus stop on the edge of town. Ford was in his usual red turtleneck sweater and black pants, but this time with a navy blue hooded jacket. Stan, meanwhile, had opted for a white t-shirt and green pants with a brown trenchcoat. Both were wearing black boots, and Stan wore a red woolen beanie in place of his signature red and gold fez.

The whole Mystery Shack crew had gotten up before dawn to prepare for Dipper and Mabel's arrival. Soos, Stan's former handyman and successor in management of the town-famous tourist trap; Melody, Soos' girlfriend and cashier; and Wendy, teenage friend of the family and former cashier of the Shack, were all currently getting the place ready for a party while Stan and Ford had gone to meet the twins at the bus stop.

They didn't have long to wait as a Speedy Beaver bus pulled up and two children stepped off, both loaded down with luggage-which was instantly dropped at the sight of the old men waiting for them.

"GRUNKLE STAN! GRUNKLE FORD!"

Stan winced at the yells, but grinned as his thirteen year old great-niece and great-nephew rushed forward to greet him. They all but tackled him as he knelt down to hug the pair.

"Hey kids," he said, "good to have you back!" As the hug ended, he gently pushed the twins away to arm's length so he could get a better look at them. They had changed surprisingly little since he'd seen them last summer. Both were still short and skinny with the family's fluffy brown hair and eyes. Mabel still wore a skirt (red this time) and one of her hand-knitted sweaters (this one green with a waterfall on it), and Dipper wore his usual orange t-shirt, grey shorts and navy blue vest, along with the lumberjack hat that Wendy had gifted him before leaving last summer. Mabel had lost her braces and was now wearing her waist-length hair in a ponytail, while Dipper sported a fading black eye and had grown a little taller so that he and Mabel were now the same height.

Noticing the bruise, Stan looked Dipper over for any other signs of injury and asked, "You walk into a doorknob or something, kid?"

"Huh?"

He pointed to the boy's eye.

"Oh that," said Dipper, smirking a little, and Stan noted that his voice hadn't quite settled into its adult tone yet. Mabel had yet to physically mature as well, but Stan shrugged it off as them just being late bloomers.

"Actually it was Mabel who hit me," said Dipper.

Mabel gave an awkward laugh. "Yeah, I did." She added, "We were sparring in the backyard and I went a little overboard."

"Sparring?" asked Ford.

"We'll tell you all about it on the way to the Mystery Shack," said Mabel, smiling at him. "But first, come here Grunkle Ford! You're not getting out of a hug that easily!"

Ford chuckled, kneeling to let them tackle him as well. "We really missed you two." He said, hugging them both. But he noticed something was missing as he looked them over again. "Mabel, where's your pig?"

"Good question," echoed Stan. "Where is the little porkchop?" They both looked around, but couldn't spot the animal.

"Here he is!" said Mabel with a mischievous grin, releasing her beloved pet from an animal carrier hidden amongst their duffle bags and backpacks. "Sic 'em Waddles!"

Stan only had a few seconds to notice that Waddles had gotten fatter over the year, and was now wearing a collar and tags, before the pig was on top of him, licking his face with abandon. The next few moments were spent with Stan trying to remove the over-excited pig while the others laughed and Mabel snapped a few pictures with her camera. Finally, Ford came to his rescue, kneeling down to grab the pig-only to be knocked flat for his own turn of being affectionately licked.

Smirking at the turn of luck, Stan borrowed Mabel's camera to get a few potential blackmail photos before moving to help his twin off the ground, while Mabel calmed and praised Waddles.

As the two older twins dusted themselves off, Dipper commented, "Hey, aren't those the same outfits you guys wore in the postcard you sent us from your trip?"

"Good eye, Dipper," said Ford, nodding with a smile.

Mabel meanwhile, studied the men more critically. When Stan removed his hat to brush more dirt off, she suddenly gasped, then squealed, "Oh my gosh! You two grew out your mullets! And you look adorable! Dipper, where's my camera?!"

"It's in your hand," Dipper said, slightly confused.

As Mabel snapped away the photos, both Stan and Ford crossed their arms, giving looks of mock offense.

"I'll have you know young lady, that my brother and I are salty old sea dogs!" said Stan.

"Exactly!" added Ford."And sea dogs are _not_ adorable."

"Sea dogs?" asked Dipper, struggling and failing to keep a straight face. "You only went on that one trip. Besides, you look more like sea lions! I didn't know your hair could get that fluffy!"

This time the older twins seemed to take it as a compliment. "I guess we are pretty majestic, aren't we?" preened Ford. They both struck heroic poses for Mabel- before all four of them burst out laughing.

After a few moments to calm down, the foursome grabbed Waddles and the luggage and piled into Stan's car. As they drove back through town and the woods, with Ford resisting the urge to grab the wheel every time Stan narrowly missed a stop sign or a piece of the fence that ran alongside the road, the younger twins talked about how their school year had gone. By helping each other with homework in difficult subjects, the two had kept their grades high enough for participation in extracurricular activities. Both had signed up for boxing lessons, intending to follow their grunkles' example considering the dangers of hunting weirdness in Gravity Falls. But after discovering that Mabel was better than him at the sport, Dipper had switched to an archery class instead. That way at least one of them would have skill with a long range weapon. He'd gotten his black eye accidentally while Mabel had been helping him practice blocking punches.

They reached the Mystery Shack with Stan clipping the thunderbird totem pole out front and smashing one of the car's headlights. Ford slumped against the car door when he got out, a hand over his heart and taking deep breaths to calm himself. This was why _he_ had insisted on driving Stan to the bus stop that morning.

"Oh quit exaggerating," Stan said, playfully punching his arm. "You let me drive the _Stan O' War II_ with no problems."

"That was a sailboat, and there were less things to crash into out on the ocean," said Ford, though he did manage a weak laugh.

Mabel patted Ford's other hand sympathetically. "You'll be fine. Besides, according to Dipper, you've faced down killer robots that detect fear without even breaking a sweat! This should be nothing."

That got another laugh from Ford. "That's what I thought too!" he admitted.

"Well don't worry." said Dipper with a grin, "You get used to the adrenaline rush after a while. Heh, you should see Stan when he's _really_ in a hurry."

Ford shuddered at that thought, then went to help the kids with their bags while Stan took note of the damage for Soos to fix later.

Once ushered into the house, Stan closed the door, leaving them in darkness, as all the windows had been covered. This only lasted a few moments until someone flipped on the lights.

"SURPRISE!"

Soos, Wendy, and Melody jumped out of hiding, blowing party horns and throwing confetti everywhere. The young twins were quick to notice that their three family friends hadn't changed much over the past year.

Soos was still portly with short brown hair, buckteeth, and eyes which seemed to change color depending on the lighting. Whatever their true color was, he wasn't telling, always smiling and saying "It's a mystery, dude!" when asked about it. Instead of his normal green question mark shirt, he was now wearing the tuxedo and eyepatch customers expected from whoever was playing "Mr. Mystery," their tour guide through the Mystery Shack's collection of oddities. He was also proudly wearing Stan's red fez, with its gold pac-man style crescent and black tassel, as a sign of his new rank as Shack owner.

Wendy was a tall and thin teenager of sixteen, with long red hair and green eyes, and was wearing her usual white tank top, green plaid jacket, jeans and brown boots. The only difference was that she was wearing Dipper's white and blue baseball cap with its blue pine tree logo.

Melody was a heavyset woman with wavy light brown hair, brown eyes, and a kind face. Dipper and Mabel had heard that she'd taken over Wendy's old job as the Shack's cashier, but her outfit suggested that she might have taken Soos' old handyman job as well. She was wearing a smaller version of Soos' usually green-grey shirt with the darker green question mark, along with the brown cap and beige shorts.

Just then, Soos' short, portly grandmother, who everyone called Abuelita, stuck her head out of the living room with a softer call of "Surprise!" Then she put on a pair of earmuffs and said in her thick Hispanic accent, "I'll go take a nap now. You kids have fun." And with that, she headed off down the hall to sleep in one of the storage rooms they'd converted into a guest room.

Since Soos had inherited management of the Shack, and therefore, the elder Pines' house, the best option for looking after the place had seemed to be that he and Abuelita move in completely, while Melody stayed at Abuelita's house in town. Being from out of town, Melody had recently moved to Gravity Falls. Unfortunately, an incident with one of the area's numerous strange and/or magical creatures had left her new home in a wreck. Since she was Soos' girlfriend, and Abuelita liked her, they had offered to let her stay in their home until the damage was repaired, so she wouldn't be stuck in a hotel. Whether this living arrangement would remain during the Pines' return for the summer was still being debated, but for now they were making it work.

The house was full of balloons and streamers and a large banner with "Welcome Back!" painted on it, and the party lasted throughout the day and well into the evening. Twilight found everyone gathered in the living room, enjoying pizza and trading stories of how the past year had gone. All of the lights were out, except for a lantern they'd set in front of the TV.

"-So then this giant squid pops up out of the water and latches onto the boat!" said Stan, waving his hands for effect.

"Actually," cut in Ford, "it was a kraken!" But he was smiling even as he made the correction. His brother really knew how to wow an audience.

"Eh, close enough," said Stan. "Point is, it was big, green and ugly! And it wanted us for lunch!"

"What'd you do?!" asked the younger twins and Soos, caught up in the story.

"What I always do to monsters." Stan said smugly, "I punched it in the face!"

"And I speared it with the harpoon." Ford added, grinning at their captivated faces.

"Question," said Soos, raising his hand. "Did you bring back any tentacles? Ya' know, for the Shack museum, which is doin' awesome, by the way! Oh! Or calamari? I could really go for some seafood..."

Melody just smiled, handing him a piece of pizza with anchovies and shrimp on it. He hugged her in thanks, before turning back to the story.

"Nah, it got away before we could catch it," said Stan, then he gave Soos a proud smile, gesturing around at the Shack. "You've done a great job with the place. I couldn't have left it in better hands."

Soos beamed at the praise, sitting up straighter and readjusting the fez on his head.

"I don't think that kraken would have fit on our boat anyway," continued Ford after a thoughtfully pause. "But-" he held up a finger and reached inside his jacket "-we did get some photos." He pulled out a book bound in red leather with gold trim at the spine and corners, a golden six-fingered hand and stylized crescent adorning the cover with a black number four drawn in the center between them.

Dipper squealed at the sight of it. "A fourth journal!"

The others chuckled at his fanboying, and he blushed, pulling his hat over his eyes.

Wendy nudged him in the ribs and plucked the her lumberjack hat off his head. "It's cool, dude. We all have those moments," she said, smiling as she handed back his pine tree baseball cap.

"Hey, I forgot to ask," said Dipper, putting on the hat, "Now that Melody's taken over cashier duty, what's your new job around the Shack?"

"Melody and Soos are teaching me how to be a handyman," said Wendy. "Sure I don't get to slack off as much anymore, but it's surprisingly more fun than I thought it would be."

"Cool." He returned her smile, then focused his attention back on his grunkles' story. The two men were showing off various notes, sketches and photographs from the new journal.

"-And this is when we encountered a pride of heraldic sea lions," said Ford, holding up the book so everyone could see. The centerpiece picture was of Stan running along a beach with Ford slung over his shoulder while the latter was sketching their pursuers in the journal. The creatures chasing them had the back halves of giant fish, and the front halves of a very angry lions.

"How did you even get that shot?" asked Melody.

"I modified our cameras to operate using motion sensors and placed them all over the boat," Ford said. "As for why they were chasing us..." His look turned sheepish.

Stan picked up the tale, smirking at Ford's embarrassment. "Heh, Poindexter here got too close to the cubs while he was sketching." He took the journal and flipped to another page. "This one doesn't have any weirdness, but we did get surrounded by a pod of narwhals."

Everybody "ooooooh"ed at that one.

And so the evening went. After Stan and Ford had finished sharing their journal, Dipper pulled out one he and Mabel had started, though this one had a white cardboard cover with a blue pine tree and pink shooting star. It turned out that although their hometown in California had nowhere near as many oddities as Gravity Falls, it wasn't completely barren of secrets to uncover, now that they knew where to look. Mabel had also made each of them a sweater to celebrate the summer reunion. "I'm selling them to raise money for college!" she added proudly, handing Ford and Stan matching red sweaters with "Original Mystery Twins" sown into them in gold lettering. Then she handed Dipper a blue sweater and put on the matching one herself that read "2nd Gen. Mystery Twins" in pink.

"That's my girl!" said Stan, ruffling her hair. "That reminds me, I've got a present for you two, and Ford." Reaching under the seat cushion of his armchair, he withdrew a thick book bound in red leather and gold trim. The cover was blank, but a gasp resounded from the others all the same as they saw it.

"No way..."

"Is that?..."

Ford took the book, speechless. His gently flipped through the pages, as if not believing his own eyes. "How did you... But- but they were destroyed!"

"I photocopied them." said Stan, "You know, just in case something happened to the originals before-"

He was cut off by Ford abruptly hugging him.

"Thank you."

Stan awkwardly patted Ford's back, before returning the hug. "Hey, why waste over six years of research, right? And this time I stuck them all into one volume so you can't lose them."

Mabel snapped a quick photo of this rare event while Dipper ran into the hallway. Seconds later a high pitched scream was heard. "AAAAH! THE JOURNALS ARE BACK!"

Later that night in Ford's room...

Stan watched as Ford cut his handprint from gold foil and glued it onto the book's cover. He wrote the numbers "1-3" in black ink on the golden hand, then set the journal aside to dry.

"I meant what I said earlier. Thank you."

Stan rubbed the back of his head uncomfortably. "I did kind of owe you, since I tried to burn one of them..."

"That's just it," said Ford, looking at his reflection in the foil. "You didn't owe me anything."

"What?"

When he turned to face his brother, Ford's expression was grave. "It was my research that caused our problems last summer. That you would even _think_ of giving it back to me after all that... After what I put you and the kids through? Not to mention the rest of town!"

"Hey!" Stan put a hand on Ford's shoulder, looking him in the eyes. "We _both_ made mistakes. I was the idiot who set you on that path, remember? Besides," he gripped Ford's other shoulder, smiling, "at the end of it all, maybe your crazy books did more good than harm. I could never have gotten you back without them, for one thing. It was a wild ride, sure, but we came out of it all the stronger."

Ford returned the smile, but his eyes were still uncertain. "You really think so?"

"Are you kidding?!" Stan got him in a chokehold, then gently knocked on the side of Ford's head, which had a metal plate inside it. "Is that thing scrambling your brain?" he joked. "You and me are finally back together and living our dreams after all these years! And I don't know about you, but I've never seen the kids so happy! They really grew up this past summer with all those weird adventures." Where was this guilt coming from? Stan had thought his brother would be overjoyed.

Ford wriggled loose, finally laughing. "Well when you put it that way, I suppose I did good after all."

"That's more like it," said Stan. "Speaking of weird adventures, you got everything ready for our camping trip the day after tomorrow?"

Ford nodded, pulling a checklist from his pocket. "I triple checked everything, so we should be good to go."

"Perfect!" As he exited the room, Stan suddenly turned back and added, "Uh... By the way, could we... Not, tell the kids about my sleepwalking? It's just... I don't want to scare them. You know how paranoid Dipper is and how... random, Mabel is."

"They're going to figure it out. You know that." Ford sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Fine. I won't tell them. But you should."

"If it gets any worse, I will," said Stan, closing the door.

"Let's hope it doesn't," Ford whispered, staring at the barrier between them.


	3. Camping Trip

The next morning, Dipper and Mabel came down to breakfast and were surprised to find Ford in the kitchen. Normally, it was Stan who did the cooking. When they asked about him, Ford said that his brother was sleeping in.

Dipper nodded thoughtfully, "Well, we did stay up pretty late..."

"Totally!" added Mabel. "Too bad the rest of the town didn't show up though."

"We wanted it to be just a small party this time," said Ford, giving the kids each a plate of pancakes.

"Where's everybody else?" asked Dipper, as he started eating. The Shack wouldn't be open for business for another two hours.

"Soos, Melody, and Wendy are out fixing the car," said Ford, sitting down to his own food. "Apparently, driving into the totem pole broke more than just a headlight. As for Abuelita..." he looked around uncertainly. "I have no idea where she disappears to."

"That's easy," answered Mabel, slipping Waddles one of her pancakes as he came up to the table. "She follows Soos around everywhere- GAH! Zombie!" She pointed to the kitchen door, as the other two sprang to their feet in alarm.

"Very funny," grumbled Stan from the doorway, rubbing sleepily at the dark bags under his eyes. Ford moved to help him into a chair as he stumbled into the room.

"What happened to you?" asked Dipper, getting Stan some food. "You look terrible. I didn't think we stayed up _that_ late."

" _You_ didn't," said Stan, not noticing the pancakes until Dipper pushed the plate under his nose. "I... uh..." He quickly shoved a bite into his mouth, looking pointedly at Ford.

Ford sighed, but quickly thought up an excuse. "He was helping me chase a raccoon out of the basement."

"Uh, yeah!" agreed Stan, in between mouthfuls of food. "There was a big, grumpy raccoon. Took us all night to get rid of it."

The younger twins looked skeptical for a moment, but didn't press the issue. Professional con-man that Stan was, they usually couldn't tell when he was lying. The last time he'd been this obvious was during that pterodactyl incident with Waddles, when he'd been plagued by guilt for putting the pig outside to be inadvertently snatched up. Something was clearly bothering him.

They would wait until he was more awake before pouncing.

Ford pulled him aside when breakfast was over and the kids had gone outside. "If you were planning to tip them off, that certainly did it," he said.

"It's not my fault you're a bad liar," Stan said irritably.

"Was it the nightmares again? Is that it?"

"Ford..." Stan's voice was a warning growl.

"I can't help you, if you won't let me," Ford said, not backing down this time.

The stalemate lasted only a few seconds, before Stan turned away from his brother, moving down the hallway.

Ford grabbed his shoulder. "Stanley..." This time his voice was almost pleading. "Look, whatever this is... I'm _here_. You know that. I'm not leaving you again."

Stan finally looked at him over his shoulder, giving a faint smile. "I know, Sixer. But I'll be fine. Don't worry."

Ford let him go, and he walked away, leaving his brother alone with troubled thoughts.

It took every trick Stan knew, including generous use of his stash of smoke bombs, but he somehow managed to avoid being cornered and questioned by Dipper and Mabel for the rest of that day. In response to Stan's tactics, the younger twins resorted to asking Wendy and Soos for help, resulting in an elaborate number of ambushes and traps, all of which failed. Stan, feeling playful now due to the increasing absurdity of their attempts, responding in kind by pulling pranks on them. The end result was an all out prank war, during which everyone forgot the reason for catching Stan in the first place.

Luckily business was slow that day, so none of the visiting tourists got caught in the middle of things.

Ford, for his part, managed to hide his worry and enjoy the spectacle. He finally even joined in after Stan pelted him with water balloons. Melody and Abuelita, meanwhile, just contented themselves with watching the fun, and recording it on video for later.

The following morning had everyone making any last minute preparations for their camping trip, so that Dipper and Mabel were once again too distracted to ask about Stan's condition. The Shack, and Waddles, had been left in the care of Melody and Abuelita during the weekend, and after learning that her friends Candy and Grenda weren't due back in town for a few more days, Mabel left a note in case they came back early while the family was gone. After clearing out several gnomes and a family of possums from Stan's motorhome recreational vehicle, the two sets of Pines twins, along with Wendy and Soos, piled into the RV with their camping gear and drove off.

"Thanks for letting me and Soos come on the trip, Mr. Pines," said Wendy, pulling a magazine out of her bag and starting to read it.

Soos thanked them as well, looking out the window at the passing traffic. He'd switched his work tuxedo for his casual green question mark shirt today, though he still wore the red fez.

"It's the least we could do," said Ford, and Dipper and Mabel nodded in agreement. All four of the Pines were wearing Mabel's "Mystery Twins" sweaters. It seemed fitting, since they planned to spend at least part of the trip looking for any unknown creatures in the woods surrounding Gravity Falls.

"Absolutely," said Stan, who was driving. "With the way you two helped the kids during Weirdmageddon, consider yourselves honorary Pines!"

"Yes!" said Soos, pumping his fist. "Another dream come true!"

"Awesome," said Wendy, smiling, but not looking up from her magazine.

"Mabel's even making you both 'honorary family' sweaters," said Dipper, pointing to his sister who was currently tangled in multiple colors of yarn.

"Can't talk now. I'm in the zone," she muttered, her knitting needles a blur of motion.

"I think she's going for a world record," Dipper whispered.

They made it to the wooded campsite by sundown, and although Stan suffered another sleepwalking episode, Ford was able to keep him from the leaving the vehicle. The rest of the family slept outside in tents, and too deeply to notice anything amiss.

The next day, Stan awoke sometime in the late afternoon to the sound of people screaming. He rushed out of the RV armed with Ford's crossbow- to find Dipper, Ford, and Mabel stuck in the top of a nearby pine tree.

"What the heck are you all doing up there?"

"Ford and I were studying some jackalopes," said Dipper, holding up a notepad and pen while glaring at his sister. "Then Mabel tried to milk one."

"Yeaaah, probably not my best idea," she admitted. "But I got some!" She grinned, holding up a mason jar with the milk in it.

"Believe it or not," Dipper said to Ford, "this isn't the craziest thing she's done."

"I'll take your word for it," said Ford, unsure of how he felt about that.

"Ok..." said Stan, very confused. "But what's Ford doing up there?"

"Look." Ford simply said, pointing to the base of the tree.

Stan looked, and saw a drove of the horned hares trying to climb the trunk and gouging it with their antlers. He slapped a hand to his face in annoyance, went back inside and came out with an air horn. One blast from the thing was enough to scatter the jackalopes, then Ford used Mabel's grappling hook to lower himself and the kids out of the tree.

While Mabel went to put her jackalope milk into the RV's refrigerator, Stan turned his attention to the other two. "Are you hurt? Also, have either of you goobers seen Soos and Wendy?"

"We're all fine," Ford said reassuringly. "Thanks to Dipper's quick thinking."

Dipper smiled at the praise, then thought for a moment before answering Stan. "As for the others... I think Soos went bird watching, and Wendy went with him so he wouldn't walk into any bear traps."

"There's Wendy!" pointed Mabel, coming back outside. "But... where's Soos?"

Wendy ran up them, stopping only a moment to gather her thoughts before saying, "Guys! Bring Mabel's grappling hook and any other rope we've got! Soos and I found this new Bottomless Pit and Soos fell into it!"

"WHAT?!"

"Wait- There's another Bottomless Pit?"

"I'll explain when we get there! Now come on!"

It took them several minutes to reach the pit, where they found Soos perched on a narrow ledge a good distance below the rim of the hole.

"Dudes!" cried Soos. "You don't know how glad I am to see you! I thought I was a goner! I was trying to see how deep this pit was and the ledge broke under me."

"You're not gonna die, Soos. Now just stay calm and don't move," ordered Stan. He took one end of the rope they'd brought, tying it around his waist. Handing the other end to Ford, he said, "I'll go down and grab him. You all hold this end and pull us back up."

"Have you ever repelled down a cliff before?" asked Dipper.

"No," said Stan, "but it can't be much different from climbing down the side of a building with a bag full of loot."

Seeing their blank stares, Stan rolled his eyes. "What? You all knew I have a criminal record. Did you think that _didn't_ include cat burgling?"

Ignoring their looks, Stan carefully moved down the side of the hole until he was right next to Soos. Soos hugged him in gratitude, and so they could both be pulled up.

"Stan's got him," said Ford, peeking into the hole. He noticed a dead tree at the edge of the pit and directed the others to set the rope against it for leverage while they pulled.

The plan seemed to be going perfectly, with Stan and Soos inching their way up the side of the pit while the others tugged on the rope, until-

"Uh, guys?..." said Dipper, hearing a faint cracking sound and looking around Ford at the tree. "I think that tree might be about to break."

They stopped pulling. "What?"

SNAP!

Soos yelled as they suddenly dropped, making Stan's ears ring.

Ford, at the front of the line and closest to the pit, was jerked forward so violently that he just barely regained his balance at the edge of the hole.

Then the ground crumbled under his feet.

Unfortunately, his weight combined with the other two adults was too much for Wendy and the kids to counterbalance. Thrown off by this second sharp jerk, all three tumbled into the pit, plunging the whole group screaming into the darkness below.

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

I'm not sure where else to put this, so here, have a deleted scene!

* * *

"I think we've got a possum in the engine," Stan said, tossing Dipper a broom. "Go get 'em kid."

Dipper rolled his eyes in annoyance, but marched out the door with broom towards Stan's motorhome RV. It was the morning of the camping trip. The Mystery Shack was closed for the day and everybody was crowded into the gift shop doing last minute bag checks.

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" asked Melody, "Possums can get pretty mean."

Stan waved her concern away, grabbing a can of Pitt Cola from the cooler Soos was packing. "He'll be fine. He's a tough kid."

Dipper's panicked screams and Melody's subsequent glare quickly changed his mood. "Heh heh... Why don't I just go see about that... Calm down Dipper! I'm coming!" Stan grabbed another broom and ran out the door.

Ford rushed in a moment later, his face smoking from his morning grooming session. "What happened?! I heard screaming."

"Stan sent Dipper out after a possum," said Mabel, who was writing a note for her friends Candy and Grenda in case they showed up while the family was away, though the two weren't due back in Gravity Falls for another week. "I don't think it's going so well..."

Stan reentered the room just then, carrying Dipper under one arm. "I don't know that was, but it's definitely not a possum." He tossed his broom to Ford. "Your turn to go take care of it."

"It tried to eat my face!" yelled Dipper.

Ford raised an eyebrow, put down the broom, and excited the room. He came back a few moments later, donning his pair of futuristic electrified gloves. "These should take care of it." He said, heading outside towards the RV.

* * *

That's as far as I got with it^.


	4. New World, New Looks

After about a minute or so of collective screaming, everyone stopped to catch their breath.

Mabel pulled a glowstick out of her sleeve, lit it, and hung it on her arm, and everyone stared at each other for a few moments.

"You're SURE this is another Bottomless Pit?" asked Stan, crossing his arms and looking at Soos skeptically.

"Pretty sure," said Soos, looking thoughtful. "I threw a rock into it. Couldn't see or hear it hit the bottom. Oh wait - there it is." He pointed to the good sized rock falling along with them.

"Alright then," said Stan. "Wake me up when it spits us back out. If we do fall to our deaths though, I'm going to be very unhappy with you, Soos." With that, he shifted into a reclining pose and pulled his wool beanie over his eyes. He was snoring in moments.

"How can he possibly sleep through this?" asked Mabel.

Ford quickly changed the subject. "So how long would you say it took you to get out of the first Bottomless Pit?"

"About twenty two minutes," said Soos, "You dudes want to tell stories again like we did last time?"

"I don't think we'll have time for that," said Wendy, pointing. "Is that the exit?"

Coming towards them from below - or above, they couldn't really tell which - was a bright hole that was blinding after the dim light from the glowstick.

"That was fast..." commented Dipper, grabbing Ford's arm and squinting at his watch. "Must be a shorter wormhole than the other one."

As they headed towards the light, they noticed that something was different. It wasn't simply the blinding white of sunshine pouring through a hole in the ground, but instead an entire rainbow of colors. Even more alarming was that the colors were spinning in a rapid whirlpool, and the travelers were being swiftly sucked into it!

For several seconds, all they knew was spinning colors and the sounds of each other screaming, then suddenly they were out of the pit and launched through the air, landing on solid ground with jarring thuds.

Dipper was the first to regain his senses. At first, it looked as if they had come out at the same clearing with the hole where they fell in, just like with the Shack's bottomless pit, but as he continued to look, there was something off... Then he realized what it was. The forest they were in was different. He was no expert, but he could tell that much by looking at the trees. Aside from the distinct lack of redwoods here, the forest surrounding Gravity Falls was coniferous, whereas this one seemed deciduous.

Storing that thought away for later, he reminded himself of the top priority: making sure the others were all right. Looking around for them, he spotted Wendy easily enough from her red hair. Soos was a bit harder to see, but Dipper soon found him as well. At least his sister and great uncles were the easiest to find. Thank goodness Mabel made such colorful sweaters!

Wait a minute. Mabel's sweater had been blue, not pink... And when had she put feathers on it?

Dipper's eyes bulged as his mind slowly caught up to what he was seeing. Where Mabel should have been was small, pink horse. With wings. The long mane and tail were brown, but the rest of it was undoubtedly pink.

OK, so there was a pink pegasus foal where his sister should have been. _No need to panic just yet,_ he told himself, even as his breathing quickened. Slowly, Dipper looked once again at the other heaps of color that should have been his family and friends.

In Wendy's place was a jade-green horse, bigger than the pink one, with a long copper-red mane and tail.

The one in Soos' place had been harder to spot at first, because it resembled a lichen covered boulder. This horse was huge, with a pinto coat in green-grey and dark green, along with a short brown mane and tail.

Once was a fluke. Twice was a coincidence. But three times? Somewhere in the back of his mind he was piecing together the situation. But just to be sure, he looked over at the places his uncles should have landed. The two horses lying there were twins, and old, if their grey manes and tails were anything to go by. Their coats were red, with a golden blaze stripe down the nose, and golden stocking markings on their legs. The major difference between the two that he could see right away was that one was a pegasus, and the other a unicorn. On a hunch, he looked closer at their hooves. The unicorn's forehooves were cloven. Looking back at their faces revealed that both were wearing glasses, and the pegasus had grey stubble all over his muzzle. How did that even work when he already had the red fur underneath...?

Dipper quickly stopped that train of thought. This situation was weird enough already. Having basically confirmed his suspicions, that all of his family had somehow been turned into horses, he took a deep breath and looked down at his hands. Even knowing that he would see hooved legs instead of hands didn't prepare him for the shock. That they were blue didn't help things, and his following scream was loud enough to wake up everyone else.

"Where's the snooze button..." grumbled Wendy, reaching around with a hoof as she came to. Seeing the hoof jolted her wide awake. "What the heck happened to my hands - and everything else?"

Mabel was on her feet in an instant. She looked around at everybody with wide eyes, then sat down again. "Sweet Sally... Am I dreaming?" Then she noticed her wings. "Cool! If this is a dream, don't wake me up yet!"

Soos took everything in stride as he sat up and looked around. "OK... This is new. Kinda weird, but mostly cool. Oh! Did I get a horn or wings too?" He spend the next few moments patting his forehead and looking over his shoulders, only to be disappointed. "Aww, guess not."

"Why is Dipper screaming?" grumbled Stan as he woke up, rubbing at one ear. Then he realized he couldn't remove his hearing aid and looked at his new hoof. He yelled in surprise, then looked at the rest of himself and everyone else. "Well, this is a whole new level of weird," he said in a deadpan voice.

Ford, meanwhile, was quietly studying his new form, and everything else. "Fascinating... Inter-dimensional travel usually doesn't involve physical transformations." He was surprised that, although their clothes were gone, he and Stan hadn't lost their glasses, or his watch and Stan's hearing aid and false teeth. He tapped the side of his head with a hoof, reassured by the metallic clanging that his metal plate was still intact, since it wasn't visible from the outside. All this made him curious about what else this world's magic could do.

Throughout all of this, Dipper was still screaming. Mabel finally went over and stuffed a forehoof into his mouth.

"Are you done yet?" she asked. He shook his head, and she removed the hoof, covering her ears.

He instantly started screaming again, but soon ran out of breath.

"How about now?" she asked.

He nodded, gasping. "Yeah... I think... I think I'm good now..." Seeing all of them awake and, it seemed, none the worse for their strange transformation, he asked, "So... Now what do we do? Any idea where we are?"

Everyone turned to look at Ford. "You're the one who knows dimension travel best," said Stan."Recognize this place at all?"

Ford shook his head. "No. I've never been to this world. This is also the first time I've ever been shapeshifted upon entering one."

"You look like one of your journals threw up on you," smirked Stan."Plus, you're a unicorn."

"Oh, yeah?" Ford returned the smirk. "So do you. Wait, I'm a what?" He turned his gaze upward, noticing his horn for the first time. "Strange... Dipper turned into a unicorn as well."

"And Grunkle Stan and I are pegasus! Or is that pegasi? Pegasuses?" wondered Mabel. Then she shrugged, "We both have wings!"

"I wonder why Soos and I turned out as normal horses." Wendy commented thoughtfully.

"Ponies," corrected Mabel.

"Huh?"

"I may not be as book smart as bro-bro over here," said Mabel, pointing at Dipper, "but I know my horses! And horses, we aren't."

"That's true, dawgs,' cut in Soos. "I once asked her the difference between a pony and a horse and she gave me a full lecture on it. Complete with slide show!"

"I'll give you guys the short version," continued Mabel. "Horses are tall and fall into two main groups. Slender, like a racehorse, and bodybuilder, like the ones that pull wagons on farms. Ponies are smaller, cuter, and more compact. We are smaller than horses, cute, and compact. Therefore, ponies."

"I'm pretty sure it's more complicated than-" began Dipper. Mabel shushed him with a hoof against his muzzle. He rolled his eyes, but let her have her moment, offering a playful smile.

"In any case," said Ford, looking at the sky through a gap in the canopy overhead, "it's going to be dark soon. We'll need shelter for the night."

"Or we could just jump back through the wormhole," suggested Dipper.

Ford and Wendy both firmly shook their heads.

"We are _not_ trying to find that RV in the dark," said Ford.

"Ford's right," said Wendy, "We're better off waiting until morning."

"I'm still wondering how we're supposed to move on four legs," added Stan.

"That's easy, Mr. Pines," said Soos, getting up and walking in a circle to demonstrate. "I once got trapped in Waddle's body for a day. This is just like that. You just put one hoof in front of the other. The trick is not to think about it."

"Quick question," said Dipper, raising a hoof. "Am I the only one concerned by the glaring fact that _none of us are wearing pants?!_ "

"Dude! Not cool," said Wendy, shutting her eyes. "I didn't even notice until you mentioned it!"

"Me neither!" Mabel whined, copying Wendy's example and burying her face under her forehooves.

Soos and Stan both slapped a hoof to their faces at Dipper's tactlessness.

Ford, however, patiently explained the situation. "There's nothing to worry about seeing, Dipper. Wendy and Mabel have long tails to cover themselves with. As for us, we have pouches."

Dipper checked, and sure enough, everything was neatly hidden inside a pouch, right where it was supposed to be. He blushed at having missed that, ears folding back and tail curling between his legs.

Wendy and Mabel both opened their eyes again with sighs of relief at this news. Then Wendy got down to business. "A lean-to is the easiest thing to make on short notice. We won't be able to tie anything together, but we'll figure something out." She moved over to a nearby tree and snapped off the lowest branch she could reach.

The others moved about to gather more branches, and get used to this new way of walking. Stan had the greatest trouble, since his wings were long enough to trip over the feathers. Up until now, he had been mostly blocking everyone's view of Ford, but when he moved aside, there was a collective gasp as Ford's body was revealed.

"Whoa!" yelled Dipper.

"Oh my gosh..." gasped Mabel.

"Hushed exclamation of dismay..." whispered Soos, too stunned to think of anything better.

It was Wendy who voiced what they were all thinking though. "Mr Pines... Dude, those are some seriously epic battle scars!"

What would have been his torso, had he been human, was crisscrossed by all manner of scar tissue. Some looked to be claw marks and/or blade wounds, while others were burn scars. Some wrapped around his chest and back, and there were even a few on shoulder and upper arm.

Ford looked uncomfortable as the others tried and failed to keep from staring. Finally he sighed and said, "A lot can happen in 30 years lost between worlds... And, now you know why I always wore a sweater." He tried to move behind Stan again.

"They would have found out eventually," said Stan, his voice softened in understanding and reassurance, although he shifted so Ford couldn't hide behind him. "You just have to let them get used to it." As if to prove his point, he sat down with his back to the others, so they could see in full view the alchemical sigil that was branded down his right shoulder blade.

"And... We're used to it," said Dipper after a pause, trying to lessen the awkwardness of the situation. He walked over to Ford and said, "Look, we've all got something we feel embarrassed about. See?" He pushed back his bangs to reveal a birthmark shaped like the constellation of the Big Dipper across his forehead, just below his horn.

Ford raised an eyebrow in surprise. "So that's how you got your nickname! I always thought it was from some weird childhood incident."

Dipper laughed. "Nope! Just a weird birthmark."

"Yeah!" added Mabel, smiling as she realized what her brother was up to. "And those scars are nowhere near as weird as Dipper's birthmark. Or even your cool six fingers, Grunkle Ford. They're just nature's bandaids."

Soos and Wendy nodded in agreement, while Stan put a wing around Ford's shoulders. "Exactly," said Stan, "listen to the kids. All those scars say about you is that you took what life threw at you, and told life to go suck a lemon!"

Ford smiled a little in appreciation at their efforts, though he knew this would still take time to get used to. Then he noticed how naturally Stan had used his wing and stared at the limb in puzzlement.

"I have no idea how I did that either," said Stan, noticing his brother's look. "Seriously! How do you coordinate six limbs?"

"We can figure it out later," said Wendy, taking charge again. "First, let's get that shelter taken care of." She directed Dipper and Mabel to gather ferns and grass for bedding, while she and the adults continued to gather leafy branches, saplings, and logs. She and Ford warned all of them to stay within sight of the clearing, but luckily the area just around the clearing was thick with trees and shrubs, so they soon had all the material needed. Mabel and Dipper even found that their hats, rope, and grappling hook had come with them, landing out of a view in a nearby bush.

It took them over an hour and much trial and error, but as the moon rose they had a crude shelter with a floor, roof, and three walls. They'd had to make due without the rope, however, as none of them had yet figured out how to tie knots using their mouths, although Soos had somehow managed to hogtie himself. After helping him out of that mess, they huddled into the lean-to.

"I'll take first watch," said Ford, as they settled in. Dipper and Mabel nestled under Stan's wings while Wendy and Soos lay to one side of him and Ford lay to the other. They nodded in understanding, then each drifted off to sleep.

And so ended their first day in Equestria...


	5. Another Disturbance in the (Magic) Force

Ponyville, Equestria: Earlier That Same Day...

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Starlight Glimmer asked as Twilight Sparkle lead her and Spike out of their castle's main door and towards the Ponyville park.

"Don't worry," Twilight responded, giving her new student a patient smile. "You need to meet Discord sooner or later. What better place than a picnic lunch?"

"Besides," Spike added encouragingly, "you both already have something in common. You're both reformed former villains, and you're both learning about friendship for the first time."

"I guess so..." said Starlight, although she was still clearly nervous.

"It'll be fine," said Spike, giving her shoulder a reassuring pat. "Discord's a pretty fun guy once you get to know him."

"And all of our other friends will be there too," added Twilight.

That finally got a smile from Starlight, as the three continued. It would have been faster to teleport, but today had perfect sunny summer weather, so Twilight had decided to take them through the scenic route.

By the time they reached the park, everyone else was already there and had the food laid out on a blanket. Rainbow Dash was lounging on a cloud overhead, looking half asleep. Rarity was lying on one of her fainting couches, reading a book and wearing what looked like a new sunhat. Fluttershy was admiring an ant hill nearby, while Applejack kept a close eye on the insects, redirecting them with her hooves if a line started moving towards the food. Pinkie Pie, meanwhile, was playing poker with Discord.

"Full house!" Pinkie yelled suddenly, slapping her cards down with a grin. She reached for the pile of chocolate chip cookies the two had set between them.

Discord blocked her hoof with his lion's paw. "Not so fast," he said with a sly smile, then he showed the cards in his eagle's claw. "Royal flush!"

Pinkie's jaw dropped, but she grinned as Discord raked in the cookies. "You're really good at this! Oh hi Twilight! Hi Starlight! Hi Spike!"

At Pinkie's call, the others perked up and said their hellos. Twilight grinned as she trotted over with Spike and Starlight at her heels. Starlight slowed as she and Discord caught sight of each other, and she gave a shy wave.

"We're not late, are we?" asked Twilight as she and Spike settled on the blanket.

"Of course not, dears," said Rarity, closing her book and offering them a levitated plate of sandwiches. "We simply thought it would be rude to start without you."

"Eh, I wouldn't have minded if you were," shrugged Rainbow, swooping down to snag an apple fritter. "I found the perfect cloud for a nap while we were waiting."

"And I found this adorable ant hill, just over there," added Fluttershy, coming over and pouring herself some lemonade.

"I don't know if I'd call ants at a picnic 'adorable'," commented Applejack. "But they sure are strong little critters." She spotted several ants carrying off a cucumber slice, and rolled her eyes. "Stubborn little things too." But she let them have it, much to Fluttershy's amusement.

"Let's just hope they don't invite the rest of their friends," said Spike, making sure the sandwich plate was well out of the insects' path.

Meanwhile, Discord's face lit up as he spotted Starlight, and he popped over to greet her. "You must be Twilight's student whom I've heard so much about!" he said cheerfully, ignoring her startled look as he shook one of her hooves.

"And... you're Discord..." she said with an uneasy laugh. "Nice to meet you?"

"I should hope so!" said Discord, "Why, the others told me that we already have things in common." He put his eagle arm around her shoulders, gesturing out to the horizon with the lion arm. "Both of us former villains! Both defeated and reformed for the better by dear Twilight and her friends! Both now seeking to turn over a new leaf through the magic of friendship! I think this is going to work out great, don't you?!"

Starlight wondered if he was always this dramatic as he released her, but she smiled despite herself. "I really hope it does work out," she answered truthfully. "Twilight says I'm off to a good start so far. I made friends with the mailpony just yesterday."

"Oh, you mean Muffins?" Discord nodded approvingly. "Yes, she's a sweetheart. A little clumsy, but..." He shrugged, gesturing to his eyes as he crossed them in imitation of the grey mare.

"Has she seen an eye doctor about that?" asked Starlight.

"You know, I never thought to ask," said Discord thoughtfully, "but she seems to do well enough as is." Then a lightbulb lit up over his head, and he slapped both claws to his face. "Oh! How rude of me! Here am I keeping you from the food. You must be starving, come on."

He plucked the lightbulb out of the air and munched on it, while putting his other arm around her shoulders again, and gently guided her towards the others.

"I see you've already met Discord, " Twilight said with a smile as they came up to the blanket. "It looks like you two are getting along great."

"Well, so far," said Starlight, ears folding back uncomfortably again.

Discord offered her an understanding smile, and a sandwich.

She took it politely, and silence fell over the group as they ate.

After a while, Pinkie and Dash started another game of poker with Discord. Soon enough, everyone else joined in, except for Starlight.

"Wanna play?" asked Dash, dealing out the cards for a new round.

"I don't really know how," said Starlight, blushing a little.

"We'll teach you," said Rarity, scooting over to make room. "It's quite fun."

So Starlight joined the game, and she turned out to be pretty good at it, too. They ended up playing well into the evening and everyone was having a good time. It seemed like the day was going to end perfectly.

Until Discord and Pinkie both gave violent shudders at the same time.

 _"Duck and cover!"_ yelled Spike, diving for shelter under the table Discord had conjured for their game.

"Spike, calm down!" said Twilight, "That wasn't a twitchy tail! That was-That was..." Her brow furrowed in confusion. "Pinkie what was that?"

"That was a doozy," said Pinkie, looking just as confused, "But I don't know why Discord got one too."

"Twitchy tail? Doozy?" asked Starlight, looking from one to the other.

Fluttershy answered, "It's an ability Pinkie has. She gets certain body twitches that mean different things."

"Twitchy tail always means somethin's gonna fall from the sky," added Applejack. At Starlight's even more confused look, she continued, "Just go with it for now. Trust us. When it comes to Pinkie, you don't wanna think too hard about it..."

Starlight actually looked concerned at that. But before she could ask anything else, Discord spoke,

"Quiet!"

All of them froze, instantly silent at the sharp bark of his voice. Starlight fought down the urge to question, but she could tell something was off by the looks on everyone's faces: this wasn't normal behavior for Discord.

The chaos spirit had his eyes shut in intense concentration, and was as still as if he'd been turned to stone-again.

The silence stretched from seconds into minutes. Finally, he spoke, and his voice was slow, but certain. "Something is here... Something is here that shouldn't be..." He turned and looked at Twilight than, as serious as they'd ever seen him. "What portals do you know of that lead to Equestria?"

"What do you mean?" asked Twilight, "There's only the mirror that leads to Human Equestria. But you never mentioned feeling anything when I told you that story."

"That was different," said Discord, "When you and Sunset crossed back here through the portal, that was Equestria's magic returning to its own domain. What I sensed enter just now isn't native to this world."

"Can you track it?" She did not quite understand the situation, but realized that it was important.

Discord shook his head, disappointed. "I only caught a spark. Whatever it was is either gone now or hiding." Then he seemed to realize how uneasy the others were getting, and said quickly, "Uh, but I'm sure it's nothing too serious! See? Your cutie marks aren't even glowing. So the Tree of Harmony didn't notice anything."

"Yet," said Spike.

"Wait-" said Starlight, surprised "-Tree of Harmony?!"

Just then, everyone's cutie mark but Starlight's began to glow and vibrate.

Discord glared at him, and Spike busied himself with picking up the cards from their game.

Without another word, Twilight cast a mass teleport which brought everyone back to her castle's throne room and its enchanted map of Equestria.

Spike groaned, having only gathered a few cards and none of their leftover food. A snap of Discord's eagle claw remedied that, and he gave the draconequus a thankful smile as he went back to picking up the cards off the game table.

Meanwhile, Twilight and the others carefully watched the map as miniature versions of their cutie marks moved over it. The marks reached a place deep in the Everfree Forest, then stopped and disappeared. The cutie marks of the ponies ceased to glow, and all of them were left in a state of confusion.

"Whatever just happened, I didn't do it," said Starlight.

"Nopony's saying you did," said Rainbow, tapping the map with her hoof. "But something weird is definitely going on here. Why did they just vanish like that?"

"They do usually hover over the place, don't they... Well, perhaps whatever was wrong already fixed itself?" suggested Rarity.

"Could be…," mused Applejack, "but I don't know... And why send us into the Everfree Forest? Nopony lives there but Zecora, and they didn't even stop at her hut." She rubbed her chin in thought.

Meanwhile, Twilight was examining the map inch by inch, casting various diagnostic spells. "I can't find anything wrong with it," she said at last, "but this makes no sense."

"Maybe something else will happen if we just wait?" asked Fluttershy. "Besides, _if_ the map is sending us into the Everfree Forest, it's _much_ too dangerous to go in there at night."

Twilight shrugged. "I can't think of anything else to do. None of my books have anything about the map. Not even the books from Canterlot or the Castle of the Two Sisters had anything. I checked all of them when the map first appeared. And it _would_ be safer to wait until morning if we do need to go into those woods."

"You know what that means?!" yelled Pinkie, bouncing with excitement. _"Slumber party!"_ There was the sound of a cannon going off and confetti shot out in all directions from the pink mare's mane.

"Will you be staying too, Discord?" asked Twilight.

He thought it over for a moment, then shrugged. "I might as well." A snap of his lion's paw conjured party hats for everypony.

Meanwhile, Starlight helped Spike clean up the picnic supplies. "Any idea what's going on?" she asked.

"Besides a slumber party? No idea. Looks like nopony else knows either."

"I just hope we figure it out soon," she said. "This day went from perfect, to random, in a heartbeat."

"Yeah, you'd be surprised how often that happens for us." Seeing the look on her face, he quickly added, "Don't worry! You'll get used to it in no time."

She smiled uncertainly. "Let's hope so..."


	6. Fight and Flight

The Everfree Forest: Next Day

Morning found the group of travelers slow to wake, their coats wet with dew, but otherwise safe and sound. Mabel was the first one out of the lean-to, bright-eyed and perky.

Soos was the only other one awake, having kept last watch. He stood just outside the shelter, scanning the woods like a hawk. A thick branch was clenched between his teeth in case anything dared to come too close.

"Morning Soos!"

He jumped, dropping his club in surprise before realizing what happened. "Oh, hi Mabel! Sleep well?" He smiled at her, and she noticed that even as a pony, he still had buckteeth.

"Eh..." She waved her hoof in a "so-so" gesture. Then she wasted no time in rousing the others.

"Wake up, guys! Come on! Get up!"

A chorus of groans was her only answer as the others tried to ignore her. None of them had slept well, having kept watch in shifts through the night, and with every unfamiliar sound putting them on edge. Stan, to his and Ford's surprise, had slept without nightmares for the first time in weeks.

Being too small to move the others, Mabel went over to Dipper. After a moment's thought, she grabbed the scruff of his neck in her teeth, as she'd seen mother cats do to kittens, and dragged him out from under Stan's wing.

"Oh come on!" he complained, the lack of warm feathers and scrape of the ground through his fur being quick to wake him as he was moved.

Wendy chuckled at the sight, as she got up and stretched. "That's pretty cute."

Dipper put a foreleg over his eyes in embarrassment as Mabel let go of him.

Ford and Stan were the next to get up, both doing quick head counts.

"Well, nobody got dragged off and eaten during the night. You owe me ten bucks, Ford."

Ford gave him a confused look. "When did we ever make a bet?"

Stan shrugged. "It's obvious we were both thinking it."

"Hey!" The others gave him indignant looks, but this only made him laugh. Then they realized he was joking, and joined in.

"Hey guys," said Soos, as the laughter died down, "you know what else is funny? These weird pictures on our hips." At their confused looks, he asked, "What? You dudes didn't notice? They stand out from your coats and everything!"

"Honestly, we were trying not to look at each other's hips," Dipper pointed out.

"Yeah, and my brain was already absorbing too much info to notice the one I got," added Mabel.

The others nodded in agreement. They had all been too preoccupied with adjusting to their new forms and then building the shelter to worry about the strange markings. The next few moments saw them all looking at their own marks, and then each other's.

Soos' mark looked like a gold knight's shield with a blue question mark and a red screwdriver in the center. The screwdriver was placed in such a way that it looked like an exclamation point next to the question mark.

Dipper's had a green pine tree, and below that was a magnifying glass and flashlight crossed to form an "X" shape.

Mabel's had a gold shooting star with a rainbow tail. Under the star's arch was a ball of yarn trailing a thread with a grappling hook tied to its end.

Wendy's mark showed a bag of ice, and next to that was an ax with its blade lodged in the top of a tree stump.

Ford's mark was a golden six-fingered hand that was ablaze with blue fire, and placed as though it had risen from the pages of an open book beneath it.

Stan's mark held the stylized golden crescent from his fez, alongside a pair of dice and a locked treasure chest.

"It looks as though these marks have our Zodiac Wheel symbols incorporated into them," concluded Ford, after seeing them all. "But I have no idea why we have these pictures on us in the first place. They also only seem to be on our fur."

Stan yawned, then moved towards the pit that had brought them here. "Personally, I just want to get home and back on two legs."

Mabel blocked his way, putting her forehooves on his chest and looking as cute as possible. "Can't we stay and explore just a little longer, Grunkle Stan? _Please?_ We've never been to another dimension before-except for Grunkle Ford. Plus, I have _wings! I want to see if I can fly with these things!_ "

Stan smiled at her, but shook his head. "Not right now, sweetie. We don't have any supplies with us. Maybe we can come back later, but first we should get back to the RV and get some food."

Mabel's stomach rumbled at the mention of food, and she nodded in reluctant understanding.

Another low growl echoed through the clearing just then.

Everyone froze, instantly on alert.

Stan put a foreleg protectively around Mabel. "Please tell me that was someone else's stomach."

A foul smell invaded the clearing as the wind shifted, and more growls followed. Yellow eyes glowed out from the bushes on the side opposite from the pit, and then several creatures emerged. In shape, they looked like wolves, but where flesh and bone should have been, there were only wood and leaves.

For several moments, the travelers were too surprised to move. Those several moments cost them dearly. Snarls came from behind them, and the group turned to see that more wooden wolves had blocked their escape to the wormhole.

"Circle the wagons. No sudden movements," Ford ordered quietly, pushing Dipper behind him and backing slowly towards the others. Stan followed suit, pushing Mabel behind him towards Dipper, while keeping himself between them and the creatures. Soos and Wendy moved as well, closing the gaps left so the kids were in the middle of the formation with the others facing outwards towards the threat.

"Are these things really that dangerous?" whispered Wendy. "I mean, they are made out of wood."

A twig snapped somewhere in the forest.

The wolf closest to Wendy jumped at her, grabbing a foreleg as she reared back to avoid it. She yelled in pain, lashing out with her other hoof. Her first blow dislodged the beast, and a stomp with both hooves broke its head into splinters.

The other wolves attacked in that same moment, scoring several bites and slashes before being destroyed by hard strikes from the defenders.

It was over in seconds. The wolves shattered to pieces on the ground, and the group shaken from the close call.

"Who's hurt?" called Ford, blinking blood out of his eyes from a cut to the forehead.

"Looks like just cuts and bruises," said Soos, looking himself and each of them over. "Nothing serious, and they didn't even touch the kids."

"Good. There's a first aid kit back in the RV. Let's go before anything _else_ shows up." Stan headed towards the pit again. This time what stopped him was the pieces of broken timberwolf beginning to glow, and move.

He cursed under his breath, backing away again. "Ford!"

"I see it!"

"What do we do?" asked Dipper, trying to keep calm and staying as close to Mabel as possible.

"Kill it! Kill it with fire!" yelled Soos, trying to crush several of the moving bits under his hooves.

"Really wish I had my ax right now..." growled Wendy, trying to keep as many of the wolves in sight as possible as they began to reform.

"That wouldn't help..." squeaked Mabel, spreading a wing over Dipper's back, since she couldn't grab his hand like she wanted.

Ford's mind raced as he looked around. They were completely cut off from the pit by the wolves. Though easily destroyed, the creatures were still dangerous and they were outnumbered. Several of those that had reformed already were howling, and were answered by more howls close by. Even if they destroyed this group, more were coming, and might reach them before they could jump into the wormhole. There was only one option right now.

 _"Run!"_

They needed no second prodding. Soos barreled his way through a gap between two of the wolves still reforming, and crashed through the trees and undergrowth, the others close on his heels.

The wolves followed, and the howling from the others closed in.

As they ran, one of Mabel's hooves caught on a root, causing her to trip. Dipper turned back at her yell, charging the nearest timberwolf with his horn.

 _"Get away from my sister!"_

The thing shattered as he impaled it, but another knocked him flat with a paw swipe and seized a back leg in its jaws. Dipper screamed as the thing bit hard and twisted, starting to drag him away. There was a sudden shower of twigs as the wolf's head broke, smashed by a buck from Mabel.

 _"Take that, you overgrown matchstick!"_

"Overgrown matchstick?..." he hissed through the pain.

"It was all I could think of!"

 _"Kids!"_ Stan and the others came charging back, stopping only long enough for the two uncles to grab the kids by their scruffs, while Soos and Wendy kept the wolves at bay. Then they were running again.

They were chased relentlessly for what felt like hours. They ran through brambles and bushes, jumping logs and narrowly skirting trees. If a branch was supple enough, one of them would bend it back, letting it slam into a wolf coming at them. Once or twice they doubled back along their own trail and split off from it, trying to confuse the creatures, but there was no telling if those monsters could track by scent or not. In the end, it took them scrambling up a steep hill and sending down a small avalanche of rocks, before finally losing the pack.

It was only when they reached a small clearing, that they finally stopped. Soos dropped to the ground, gasping for air. "Go on... without me... dudes!"

"Not... Not happening, Soos..." Though Wendy was in typically good shape, this run had winded her as well. "How are you old guys holding up?..."

The two set the kids down, before collapsing next to each other.

"Worst... camping trip... _ever!_ "

"What he said... Kids?... Are you alright?"

Mabel looked herself over. "I think I lost a few feathers, but besides that, I'm OK! Dipper?"

Dipper tried to stand, but his injured leg gave out, and he fell over with a yell of pain.

"Dipper!" Mabel was at his side in an instant, trying to see what the problem was.

The others dragged themselves to their feet, hurrying over as best they could.

"How bad is it?..." he groaned, trying to see her face without moving too much.

She winced at the sight of his leg. "That is _not_ supposed to bend that way..."

"What?!"

She tackled him flat before he could move and hurt himself further.

Soos helped her restrain Dipper with one of his forelegs, while the others examined the wound.

"I'm no veterinarian," said Stan, "but that definitely looks broken."

"Not as bad as it could have been though," Ford sighed with relief, but it was only partial. "The bone didn't puncture the skin, but those fangs went deep. He's lucky they didn't pierce an artery. Infection is going to be a problem..."

"Yeah, plus we can't exactly splint it, can we?" Wendy looked ready to spit nails in anger, but she held it in check for Dipper and Mabel's sake. "We'll have to figure out some way to move him. Those... _things_ , might find us again if we stay here."

"Actually... there is a way you could splint my leg, if you use your mouths to tie the knots... Won't be easy, but..." he shrugged.

"You're surprisingly calm about this, little bro."

"The adrenaline hasn't worn off yet, otherwise I'd probably be screaming right now. And you're only older than me by five minutes."

The others exchanged a look, but couldn't think of anything else. Wendy searched for a vine, while Stan looked for a branch they could use. Soos stayed where he was, one foreleg across Dipper's shoulders, both to hold him still, and offer some form of comfort. Ford, meanwhile, knelt down in front of the boy to get his attention.

"Wendy found some medicinal plants, but we can't risk giving you any painkiller in this form."

Dipper's ears flattened against his head, eyes wide. Mabel hugged him, and Ford nodded in sympathy, before continued his explanation.

"If we were still human, I wouldn't have a problem with it. But there's no telling what you'll react badly to like this. We can't risk it this far from a hospital. Understand, boy?"

Dipper nodded slowly, and Mabel hugged him tighter. Ford gently nudged her away, explaining that they would need her help tying the vine, since she was smaller.

Stan took Ford's place, grumbling that his brother shouldn't have said anything. He gently ruffled the colt's mane. They had lost their hats during the chase. "You'll be fine. You're a tough kid. Just... keep your focus on me. You can do that, right?"

Dipper nodded again, giving a weak smile.

"Good. Now bite down hard on this." He shoved a small branch into the other's mouth. The colt looked startled, but realized what it was for, and obediently clamped his teeth on the wood.

Despite the others working as quickly as they dared with setting the bone and splint, Dipper had blacked out by the end of it. There was relief at this, since he wouldn't feel anything when they moved him, but that was quickly replaced with worry over _how_ they were going to move him and where they would even go.

"I'll carry him," said Stan, lying down so they could place Dipper on his back more easily. "Wendy, do you think you and Ford can lead us back to the Bottomless Pit?"

They shared a look, then nodded. "Shouldn't be too hard."

"We weren't exactly subtle, crashing through all that brush."

"Wait, why are we going back towards the living wood puppets that tried to eat us?"

"Because that's our only way home. Let's just hope they found other food by now..."

Wendy soon found their trail. She took the lead, with Stan behind her carrying Dipper, and Soos behind him with Mabel on his back. Ford followed last, acting as rear guard. Hopefully, they could reach the pit and get home without further incident.

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

Big thanks to MyOwnNameWasTaken for being my Beta Reader. :)


	7. Searches & Things Go from Bad to Worse

**Author's Note:**

Just a quick warning here. There is some bloodletting in this chapter. If that makes you uncomfortable... It can't really be helped. I did try to describe it as vaguely as possible. **Medical Disclaimer:** if you ever find yourself or a friend/loved one in a similar situation to certain characters here (you'll know it when you see it) the best advice is to stay calm and seek the closest medical help ASAP. _Do not try anything mentioned here, at home._

* * *

Castle of Friendship, Ponyville: That Morning

It had been Pinkie's idea that they all sleep in Twilight's room for it to be a "proper" sleepover. There wasn't enough room for beds for all of them, but they used sleeping bags and made the best of it. Though a little crowded, they were having too much fun to try arguing with Pinkie.

The glow and vibration of their cutie marks were what woke six of the seven ponies. Starlight, Spike, and Discord woke at the commotion that followed as everypony rushed from Twilight's bedroom, towards the throne room to see the map.

The tiny images of their cutie marks had finally converged on a location deep within the Everfree Forest.

"Pack your bags, girls! Looks like we're heading to the Everfree Forest after all." Twilight turned towards Spike and Discord. "Spike, I need you to come with us in case we need to contact the Princesses. Discord... I'm sorry, but I need you to stay here in case anything else happens with the map. You're the only one who'll be able to contact us quickly."

Spike saluted, then rushed off to get his own bag. Discord seemed about to protest, then thought it over, and nodded in understanding.

"What about me?" asked Starlight, as the others rushed to pack supplies.

"You're coming with us, Starlight." Twilight levitated a set of spare saddlebags to her. "We've never been to that part of the forest before and it could get dangerous."

Starlight nodded, taking the bags. "I won't let you down."

Within minutes, they were ready to leave. Twilight marked their destination on a more portable map to take with them, and teleported everypony to the forest's edge on the outskirts of Ponyville.

It took them several hours to reach the place, but luckily their only problem was with a pack of timberwolves, which were quickly dispatched. The crudely built lean-to was the first thing they noticed, along with the large pit.

"Somepony was definitely here."

"But where'd they go?"

"Let's go find out!" Pinkie leapt high in excitement-

"-Hold it, Pinkie!" Rainbow caught the pink pony in mid-air, just as she was about to rush into the clearing. "Look at the grass and dirt. See how they're all kicked up? There was fight here."

"And it didn't end well, by the look of things." Applejack pointed to several blood spots.

"Oh dear. I hope nopony was too badly hurt..."

"Does one of you know how to track? Maybe we can catch up with them?"

Rarity suddenly gasped, a look of excitement on her face. "I just remembered, I think we have the perfect spell for this! It was featured in the latest Shadow Shade novel, as a tool to help analyze crime scenes. I found it to be so interesting that I simply had to look it up, and you know what? It was a real spell after all! Twilight, you remember it don't you? I showed it to you just last week."

Twilight's face lit up at the memory. "Rarity, that's brilliant! I went ahead and learned it after you showed me. I wanted to see if I could find another use for it besides studying crime scenes." She focused for a few moments to remember the spell, and her horn began to glow. A purple light spread out from it to cover the entire clearing. Everywhere that something had been disturbed within the clearing-every footprint in the grass and dirt, every drop of blood, even the body prints where something had been lying inside the shelter, along with a length of rope and a grappling hook that had been hidden by the grass-was lit up as if by a blacklight under Twilight's spell.

"Wow!"

"That's amazing!"

"It really is! Could you please teach me that spell later?"

"Uh... I hate to spoil the mood, sugarcubes, but shouldn't we be focusin' on what the spell revealed?"

"Oh. Right..."

Twilight flew over to the lean-to, counting the outlines of the ponies who had lain there. "There were six of them. Looks like three adults, a teenager, and two foals."

"I'm gettin' the same impression from these tracks," called Applejack as she carefully entered the clearing. "Though there's somethin' funny about one of the sets. Looks like one of the adults has cloven front hooves..."

"We got timberwolf prints! All over the place!" Rainbow flew lower, following the trails of prints. "And here's where the fighting was. Looks like they got surrounded, you can see where the ponies circled up and put the foals in the center."

Fluttershy flew over to look as well. "There isn't too much blood. That's a good sign. But why were they out here in the first place, and with foals of all things?!"

"I think the bigger question, darlings, is _how_ they got out here." Rarity trotted over to them. "Has anypony noticed? None of their tracks lead _into_ this clearing, but, there are tracks leading away from that hole, along with six impact prints. It almost looks as if they fell from the sky... Very unusual... Although, at least two of them are pegasi." She pointed out several large red feathers, and several smaller pink ones.

While the others investigated, Spike diligently took notes of everything found. "I wonder why they were so interested in that big hole?" He pointed with his quill. "Some of their tracks head back towards it before the timberwolves attacked. How deep do you think that is anyway? I can't even see the bottom from here." He picked up a rock and tossed it in, listening closely and signalling for the others to be quiet.

Several minutes passed, but the rock never hit the bottom. Instead, a very confused jackalope with a bump on its head shot up out of the pit.

Spike yelped as the creature landed on him, knocking him flat.

It growled at him, shook itself, and then scampered away into the bushes.

The baby dragon slowly got up, staring after the jackalope. "You guys all saw that, right?"

They all nodded, looking just as astonished.

"Incredible...," Twilight flew over, looking at the pit, then at the bush where the jackalope had disappeared. "A new portal! Right here in the Everfree Forest! But where does it lead to?"

"We can ask our new friends when we catch up to them," Starlight gestured to the trail of broken branches and galloping hoofprints which lead away from the clearing. "Judging from those impact prints and the tracks, I think it's a safe bet that they fell through it. Do you think they'll want their rope back? Or this-What kind of grappling hook is this?" She held it up for Twilight to see.

"I'm not sure... I've never seen one with a barrel like that before, or that small of a trigger. Most of them are mounted on crossbows, if anything. But, yes, they'll probably want those back."

Starlight put the items into her saddlebags, then deferred to Twilight to lead the way.

Twilight smiled and shook her head. "You found this clue, Starlight. Go ahead."

"And I found hats!" Pinkie suddenly popped out of the bushes, carrying a tattered baseball cap by its bill, with an equally torn fez and lumberjack hat inside it, along with the shredded remains of something made from red wool. The real mystery was how she had gotten over there when no one had seen her leave the clearing.

Rarity levitated the hats from Pinkie for a closer inspection. "Oh dear. The timberwolves certainly had a go at them... But, I'm more than sure I can repair them! After we find their owners, of course." She put the hats into her own saddlebags, and Starlight lead the way down the new trail.

"Spike, send a letter to the Princesses. Let them know everything that's happened with the map, and that we're on a search and rescue mission. I don't know if the map acting up has any connection to these ponies, but if there's even the slightest chance, than we might need more help." Twilight landed so he could climb onto her back.

"Already done," he said, burning the scroll and watching as the magic smoke trailed away.

All too soon they reached the site of another battle with the timberwolves. Under the light of Twilight's spell, it looked as though one or both foals had been injured and carried to safety. Spike sent an update letter, and they continued onward. However, the trail was soon lost. Trees and bushes blocked any further progress and obliterated the remaining tracks.

Spike quickly sent a third letter, and belched out Princess Celestia's reply minutes later. He read it aloud to the group:

"My Dearest Twilight,

"Although I am deeply grateful to you for attempting to rescue these ponies, I must strongly advise you to return to Ponyville if you fail to reach them before nightfall. It would do no good for you and your friends to become lost or hurt in the forest as well. However, rest assured that we are not giving up on them. Luna will be contacting them in their dreams tonight to determine their location more accurately. From there, we can determine how to best return them to safety.

"Yours Sincerely,

\- Princess Celestia."

Twilight considered the letter, then turned to the others. "Everypony, we're splitting up into teams of two. We'll cover more ground that way."

"Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"No, but it's the only one I've got right now. Time isn't on our side here." They all nodded in uneasy agreement.

Reaching into her saddlebags, Twilight gave each of them what looked like one of Pinkie's party horns. "If you find them first or run into trouble, just point these at the sky and blow. I've enchanted them so that they make a loud whistle and shoot red sparks into the air."

"So, how do we pick who's pairing up?"

Her face fell and she sat down, rubbing her chin in thought. "I don't know yet..."

"Pick a card!" Pinkie called, pulling a deck of them from the depths of her mane. "Whoever picks the same cards gets paired up. Simple!"

The others stared at her for a moment, then all shrugged and picked their cards. Starlight was teamed up with Spike, Twilight with Pinkie, Fluttershy with Rarity, and Rainbow with Applejack.

"Remember, we have until nightfall to find them. If none of us have found them by then, blow your horn twice so we can find each other and regroup."

With that in mind, the party split up, each going their separate way.

* * *

 _"What do you mean we're lost?!"_

Ford stood his ground, not the least bit intimidated by his brother's glare. "Exactly what I said, Stanley. We're lost. I don't know _how_ , but we _are_."

For a while, their trail had been easy to follow, but the trees and bushes soon became too thick to find it. For now, they had stopped in a smaller clearing to try and regain their bearings.

Wendy, meanwhile, was taking her frustration out on a nearby tree. "How the flip could this happen?!" She bucked the tree several times in rapid succession. "I know woods like the back of my hand!"

"Dunno, dudes. Like, maybe the trees moved or something? I could've sworn I saw a ring of dancing mushrooms back there. They looked pretty tasty now that I think about it..." Soos sat down to think it over, letting Mabel slide off his back.

"Dancing mushrooms? Cool! I wonder what kind of dance parties they throw?"

Stan stared at them both for a few seconds, then shook his head. "Don't be ridiculous, Soos."

Ford held up a hoof. "Actually-"

" _Don't_ say it Ford. That's the _last_ thing we need!"

"...I was going to say, that was probably a fairy ring and to stay away from it."

Stan sighed, carefully lying down so Dipper wouldn't fall from his back. "Sorry... I'm a little irritated right now..."

"I'd say more than a little. But that's understandable, given how today has gone," Ford settled down beside him, then looked over at Dipper. "How is he?"

"Miserable..." Dipper's voice was weak and laced with pain, his eyes still shut. "Please stop yelling..."

Stan winced. "Sorry kid... You just go back to sleep now, alright?" He looked at Ford with concern. "We gotta find a way out of here soon."

His twin nodded, just as worried. "There's no telling how big this forest is. Right now, I'd say food and water are our main concerns."

"Food's the easy part." Wendy came up to them, having finished pummeling the tree. "We're ponies, right? There's grass all over the place. Water's going to be a problem though." She suddenly noticed something, and looked around in confusion. "Where did Soos and Mabel go?"

The twins shared a look, and by unspoken agreement, Ford got up to help Wendy find their missing group members. After they were gone, Stan noticed another oddity. The tree that Wendy had been bucking had been to the left side of a large fern. Now it was to the right side of the fern. He shook his head, blinked, and looked again.

Now the tree was several inches away from the fern.

Stan felt one of his eyes twitch. _"Oh come on!"_

Dipper thumped the back of his head with a forehoof, and he apologized for yelling again.

* * *

It took Ford and Wendy a few minutes to find the others.

Soos and Mabel were both sitting within the ring of mushrooms Soos had mentioned. The fungi were indeed dancing, softly puffing out spore clouds as they did so, and wriggling out of the way with surprising speed as Soos kept attempting to eat them. Their roots never left the ground, so the mushrooms left furrows as they moved.

Mabel, meanwhile, was eating a cluster of bright blue flowers with dark streaks through their petals, while somehow managing to hold them with her hooves. More of the blue blossoms were twisted into her mane and tail as decoration.

The two bystanders stared for a few moments, taking in the scene.

"That's new."

"Meh, I've seen weirder."

Wendy raised an eyebrow at that, but quickly turned her attention to Mabel. "Mabel, spit those out, right now. You can't just go around eating plants like that."

Mabel pouted. "But they're so pretty! And delicious!"

"They could also be poisonous for all we know."

Her face took on a look of alarm, and she instantly spat out the mouthful of flowers, scrapping the petals from her tongue with both hooves. "But I already ate a bunch!" Her voice rose in panic. "I'm not gonna die, am I?! _I'm too cute to die!_ "

"Mabel! Chill!" snapped Wendy, stomping a hoof to get the girl's attention. "I said they _could_ be. I've never seen these before, so I don't know. How many did you eat? And Soos, stop trying to eat those mushrooms!"

Soos chuckled, having missed his pounce on another one. "Sorry, dude. I can't help myself, I haven't eaten all day."

Ford, meanwhile, was busy examining the dancing fungi, looking worriedly at the spores. "Have either of you felt any strange compulsions since your were in there? Say, a sleepy feeling, or an irresistible urge to dance?" He kept his breathing shallow, just in case.

"Besides really wanting to eat these 'shrooms? Nope!"

"These just smelled _really_ good, and we haven't eaten anything all day, you know since everything else is trying to eat _us_ , so Soos started trying to get one. I would've gotten one too, but then I got distracted by these flowers. I was still _really_ hungry though, so I ate the flowers. I lost count of how many."

Another mushroom darted out of Soos' way, spraying a cloud towards Wendy and Ford.

Ford instinctively held his breath, waiting for the spores to clear, but Wendy got a face full of the stuff.

She sneezed, waving them away with a hoof. But then a change seemed to come over her. "Those _do_ smell pretty good..." she stepped forward slowly, drooling a little and with an unfocused look in her eyes. "Maybe a bite wouldn't hurt..."

Ford grabbed her mane in his teeth, yanking hard.

"OW! What was that for?!" She aimed a kick at him, but he dodged it, glad to have at least snapped her out of the daze.

"Keep away from those," he ordered, "and don't breath the spores. Something isn't right here..." _Why would the mushrooms lure animals to eat them, but then avoid being eaten? This doesn't make any sense... Unless..._

He called the warning just as Soos finally caught a mushroom. _"Get out of there!"_

Too late.

As Soos picked up the fungus and exposed its roots, the cluster of mushrooms in the center of the ring burst up from the soil, splitting horizontally into a mouth like that of a venus flytrap atop a long, thick neck. At the same time, the other mushrooms lunged out of the ground, revealing that underneath the ring of feelers that looked like roots, the "mushrooms" were actually the ends of long tendrils. These tendrils quickly ensnared the four ponies.

"Uh oh. Dudes, I've seen enough anime-"

"Finish that joke, and _I'm feeding you to this thing._ "

"OK, OK, sheesh..."

* * *

Meanwhile...

"They've been gone for a while now... But I can't just leave you here by yourself." Stan looked down at Dipper, who now lay sleeping beneath his wing, and sighed heavily. He took a mouthful of grass, lost in worried thought. What was taking so long? Soos and Mabel couldn't have gotten _that_ far...

Dipper sneezed in his sleep, making the old stallion chuckle softly. "You still sneeze like a kitten, too cute."

"Is not!..." came the sleepy mumble, then the colt slowly opened his eyes, blinking around in confusion. "Grunkle Stan?... Where is everybody?..."

"Soos and Mabel wandered off. Wendy and Ford went to go find them. They'll be back soon. Don't worry, kid." He pulled up another mouthful of grass, placing it in front of the boy. "Here, try to eat this. You need to keep your strength up."

As Dipper slowly ate, a nearby rustle from the bushes caught Stan's attention. He got to his feet, tense, but the sight of a chicken's head popping out from the bush left him confused. Then the rest of the creature emerged: a snake's body with bat-wings, though it still had the chicken's feet.

At Dipper's yell of alarm, he turned, only for the boy to wrap both forelegs around his head and hang on for dear life. Stan was forced to his knees as Dipper's weight pulled him down.

"Dipper! Augh! Let go! What's gotten into you?!"

"Don't look!" His voice was verging on panic, and considering this warning coupled with him covering Stan's eyes, Stan could easily guess that his eyes were also shut. "Whatever you do, _don't look at its eyes!_ "

"Alright! Alright. My eyes are closed. But you need to let go of me." He sighed with relief as he felt the death grip on his head lessen. "Thank you... Now, what is that thing?"

"It-it's a cockatrice. If you look into its eyes, it'll either kill you or turn you to stone. I can't remember which, but I'm not taking any-"

He felt Dipper stiffen, then his ears picked up the sounds of clucking, and of scales sliding through grass. The cockatrice was coming towards them.

"Cockatrice, huh?" Stan kept his voice calm, even as he felt Dipper shaking. "So how do we deal with it?"

"Deal with it?! Grunkle Stan, we-we're gonna..." His breathing had increased, and he was choking back a sob.

"Hey!" Stan hardened his tone. He could not afford to let Dipper panic now. It was time for some tough love. "We're not dead yet. _Focus_ , Dipper. Use that nerdy brain of yours. You've faced down everything from Bill Cipher to wrestling the freaking Multi-Bear!"

"You heard about that?"

"He told me himself. _Now_ , are you gonna let some mutant chicken-lizard beat you? Am I gonna have to tell my brother that his apprentice died a _coward?!_ "

He would have continued, but a hoof against his mouth stopped him. He felt Dipper's other forehoof tap at the side of his face until it found his jaw. He braced himself, knowing what was coming even as that searching hoof pulled back. He could easily dodge it by moving his head, but that was beside the point. Besides, if the boy missed, he might injure himself further.

 _Crack!_

The blow to the side of his jaw was to be expected, but he was still sent reeling at the power behind it. The kid had gotten stronger over the past months.

"You know I never took Ford's apprenticeship, right?"

Stan chuckled painfully, stretching his jaw to ensure Dipper hadn't dislocated it. "Yeah, I know. But he still thinks of you as an unofficial one. So, about that cockatrice..." He opened his eyes just enough to see his great-nephew's face. The look, though the colt's eyes were still closed, was one of concentration, and his breathing had steadied. That was a good sign.

"If we had a mirror, this would be easy. If it sees it's own reflection, the power of its gaze turns back on itself."

"We don't have any mirrors. Anything else?" He was only half listening to Dipper. The rest of his attention was on tracking the sound of the creature's movements. It seemed to be circling them. He moved with it, keeping himself between it and Dipper as best he could.

"Uh... Give me a minute... There was something else..."

It was sense more than sound that warned him when the cockatrice lunged, Stan threw himself down in front of Dipper as the beast tried to slip underneath him. He grunted in pain as needle-sharp teeth pierced the base of his neck.

"Grunkle Stan?!"

"Agh... It's-It's alright, Dipper... Stupid thing tried to get at you. I caught it..."

"Are you hurt?!"

"I'm fine. How do we beat it? Come on, kid!" The thing seemed to have gotten its teeth stuck, it was trying to chew on him. He let himself fall to the side, trying to pin it, but the cockatrice let go and rolled out from under him at the last moment.

There was a rush of air across his wings as the creature jumped over him, and he grabbed out on instinct, his teeth catching it by the tail.

It hissed in anger as he threw his head back, slamming it to the ground.

Stan lost his grip on it, but heard it hissing and circling again. He quickly got up to stay with it, but even as he did, he could feel a strange tingling from the bite wound...

"Roosters!" yelled Dipper. "Rooster crows will kill it!"

"...You're serious? I hate to break it to you, but we don't have any roosters either."

"No, no! We just have to _sound_ like roosters, that should scare it off. Like this: _Cock-a-doodle-doo!_ "

The cockatrice squawked in confusion, and Stan had to agree with it. "You gotta do better than that, kid!"

"You try it then!"

Stan took a deep breath, and let out his best rooster crow. This time the sound from the cockatrice was more one of alarm.

So Dipper and Stan both began to crow. Within moments the beast was switching between hisses of anger and frantic clucking. Finally, it let out a frustrated squawk, and they heard rustling through the bushes as it hurried away from them.

Slowly, the two opened their eyes, and looked around.

"It-it worked! I can't believe it, that actually worked!" Dipper beamed at Stan, then the look instantly left his face as he sniffed the air. "Wait... Why do I smell blood?..."

"Ah... yeah, about that... cockatrice aren't... venomous, are they?..." Stan slowly sank to his knees, then rolled onto his side. He slowed his breathing, trying to keep as calm and still as possible.

The colt's face drained of color under the fur as he saw the bite in his grunkle's neck. "No... No. No! _No! Grunkle Stan!_ " He dragged himself closer, heedless of his own injury. "W-We need to get you to a hospital quick!"

Stan grimaced. "Kid, we're in the middle of nowhere. I don't think that's an option..."

Dipper looked even more upset at this. "I'm not just gonna let you die out here! W-what do I do?!"

" _Don't. Panic._ " growled Stan, "Now listen, this venom's gonna set in any minute now. I don't know exactly what's going to happen, but it'll be painful and I might go into shock. You know CPR, right?"

"Yes, why?!"

"In case I stop breathing, or my heart stops."

"Has this happened to you before?"

"Dipper, I live out in the woods. We have snakes. What do you think?"

Dipper's expression changed to one of annoyance.

Stan couldn't help but smirk, but the look quickly vanished as he felt the first throbs of pain from the bite beginning to swell. "Yep... There it goes... OK... Do you see any tobacco plants around here?"

"What? I don't even know what one looks like. And you don't smoke! Or chew!"

The stallion rolled his eyes. "Not for me... It's an old trick I learned for bug stings... Draws out the venom... But nevermind... It would take too long... Do you know how to make a tourniquet?"

Dipper scowled. "Even if I did, I'm not putting one on your neck!"

"Oh. Right... Augh..." He winced, gritting his teeth as the pain grew steadily worse. "Alright kid... I know one more trick... but you're not gonna like it..." His eyes moved to Dipper's horn for a moment, but then he thought better of it. The colt's horn was rounded and dull at the tip, and sharpening it would take too long. "Check your splint... there should be one of those wooden wolf teeth tucked into the vines..."

Dipper checked, quickly finding the large wooden fang and carefully pulling it out. He balanced it on a forehoof, confused. "Where did you even-?"

"It was stuck in your leg..."

The colt winced, then noticed the dried blood on it. He looked at the tooth, then back to Stan, then back at the tooth. Then his eyes widen as realization dawned. "Oh man. Please tell me you're not thinking what I think you're thinking."

His grunkle's face was solemn, despite his pain. "You'll need to cut along the bite..."

"You could bleed to death!"

" _Not_... if you cut shallow..."

"Grunkle Stan- I- I can't! I..." His breathing increased again, ears flat to his head and eyes brimming with tears. The tooth fell from his hoof.

" _Dipper!_ " Stan's voice was a bark, weak though it was. Then he sighed, meeting the boy's gaze. "I know kid... I know I'm asking a lot from you... But look at what you've already done... Remember?... All that crazy stuff last summer, and just now with that cockatrice... How many other kids could do that?... This?... Heh... This is nothing..."

"This is different!"

 _"How?"_

"You're putting your life in my hands- hooves- whatever!"

Stan rolled his eyes again. "Don't even get me started... Seriously, don't. I won't live long enough to finish..."

Dipper flinched, and Stan closed his eyes, sighing again in exasperation. Then he opened them again, and looked the boy straight in the eyes.

"Look around, Dipper... There's no telling when the others'll be back, and I've got a few hours left at most... You're the only one who can help me... I know that scares you... Heck, it scares me too... But it's OK... I trust you."

He closed his eyes again, forcing himself to relax and return to as a calm a state as possible. There was nothing more he could say. It was up to Dipper now.

"Grunkle Stan?..."

He didn't answer.

"Grunkle Stan?!" There was a frantic note to the boy's voice.

It was heart wrenching, but still, the old man didn't answer. He couldn't. The boy had to do this on his own, or not at all.

He felt the colt's head rest against his chest, listening for a heartbeat. There was a sigh of relief, then Dipper took several deep breaths, muttering to himself.

"OK... OK... He's either unconscious, or playing possum... The swelling hasn't spread too far yet so... Probably playing possum. Not cool, Grunkle Stan. You nearly gave me a heartattack! _Not. Cool._ "

This last remark was said into his ear, and it took all of Stan's will to stay limp and not react.

There was another sigh. "So you're gonna be like that, than? ...Fine." His voice was calmer now. Still clearly upset, but more annoyed than panicked. There was more muttering, though Stan couldn't make out what was said, followed by several deep breaths and groans.

A stab of pain suddenly shot through Stan's neck, and he couldn't help but scream. He tried to jerk away, but Dipper's weight on his neck held him still. For a few seconds he lay panting as his vision went grey, and there was the boy's voice whimpering apologizes in his ear.

"Gah!... Warn me next time!..." he groaned, trying to calm down again.

"You-you would've tensed up if I had." Dipper choked back a sob, then bent to pick up the wooden tooth again in his mouth. He'd dropped it when Stan had thrashed. Setting it off to the side and out of the way, he shifted so as not to choke Stan, and to better see the wound. The bite was swollen and discolored, and the fur around the cut was quickly turning a darker red. "That's... That's a lot of blood... Is there supposed to be that much blood?..." His eyes were wide, and his voice faint.

"Dipper, don't you _dare_ pass out on me... _Focus_... You still need to extract the venom..."

"But the blood-!?"

"Is it squirting out? Or does it have a weird blue color?"

Dipper took a closer look. It wasn't spreading as fast as he had first thought. "No..."

"Than its fine... Now, you need to either squeeze the venom out, or suck it out..."

The expression on Dipper's face said more than any words could for his feelings about that idea. He looked at one of his forehooves, then at the injury. Using both forehooves would be the most efficient, considering their lack of hands, but with one hind leg unable to support his weight, that was not an option. Grimacing and trying hard not to think about what he was doing, he lowered his muzzle to the incision.

Stan hissed through gritted teeth, but forced himself to keep still as Dipper began the unconventional treatment.

* * *

Meanwhile, back at the "fairy ring"...

"-And that's why this is weirder than that time I got eaten by the Summerween Trickster."

As the other three struggled to escape the tendrils holding them, the plant monster had decided to eat Soos first- only for him to get stuck just inside its throat when it tried to swallow him whole. That had been several minutes ago, and he was still stuck.

That he could stay so calm about the whole thing, while telling jokes and keeping up a running comparison of this event to weird things from his time working at the Mystery Shack, was a wonder in and of itself.

Unfortunately, his bad jokes, which he claimed to have gotten from Stan's (infamous) favorite joke book, and constant storytelling were having an adverse effect on his friends. Wendy had actually fallen asleep, hanging limply in the tendrils' coils. Mabel's ears were plastered as flat as they could go to the sides of her head, and she was desperately struggling to reach them with her bound forehooves. All the flowers had fallen out of her mane and tail during the capture.

"Make it stop..." she whimpered, although Soos couldn't hear her.

Ford seemed to be the only one immune to Soos' chatter, but he was also immobilized. All four legs were bound, and he was in no position to use his horn or teeth with another tendril wrapped firmly around his neck. His eyes were closed, and there was a calm expression on his face. Mabel would have thought him asleep, except for the lack of snoring.

"How is this not bothering you?!"

"Meditation," he answered, voice as calm as his expression. "Remind me to teach you, after we get out of this."

Mabel gave him a skeptical look. "How are we supposed to do that?"

"Well, I do know a fire spell that might work..."

"Perfect!"

"...with a chance of causing death by spontaneous combustion."

"Wait, what?!"

"That's why I avoid using it."

Eventually, even the monster seemed to grow tired of the noise, as it wrapped a tendril around Soos' muzzle, before finally managing to get another one around his barrel and pull him loose.

Ford was pulled towards the thing's mouth next, and despite his struggles, he was unable to free himself. Rolling his eyes with a sigh of annoyance, he closed them and began to chant. "Invoco in antiqua elementa. Ego vocabo ignem! _Da mihi virtutem ignis!_ " His eyes snapped open, glowing blue, as was his horn. As the monster threw him into its mouth, his horn and hooves suddenly caught fire.

The creature closed its mouth on him for an instant, then spat him back out with a shriek of pain. Ford lashed out at every tendril he could reach with horn and hooves as he fell, causing the creature to drop the others. One of the tendrils swiped at him, knocking him hard into a tree. As he fell to the ground, unconscious, the flames vanished from him, leaving burnt fur, but no serious damage.

"Grunkle Ford!" Mabel ran to him, dodging the monster's attempts to grab her again. Soos and Wendy, who had woken up on hitting the ground, quickly followed her.

Reaching him, the filly started shaking him roughly with her forehooves. "Grunkle Ford, wake up! Please! You have to get up!" When he didn't respond, she turned to Wendy and Soos, her eyes filling with tears. "Is-is he-?"

Wendy put an ear to the old stallion's chest. "He's still alive, but we've got a bigger problem right now." She pointed to the angry monster looming over them. A tendril slammed down towards them, and Wendy bucked at it, knocking it back with a strength that surprised even her. She dodged a second tendril, but a third one caught her off guard in mid-dodge. They began to squeeze as they coiled around her again, lifting her off the ground.

"Wendy!" Mabel started to rush forward, only to be blocked by Soos.

"Stay with Ford, hambone," he ordered, glaring up at the monster. "I got this." He charged, yelling at the top of his lungs, while dodging any tendril in his way. _"You messed with the wrong family, dude!"_ Reaching the base of the thing's long neck, he sank his teeth into it.

The thing shrieked again, this time striking at him with its mouth.

Letting go of the neck, Soos whirled and bucked as hard as he could at the mouth rushing towards him.

 _CRACK!_

The mouth flew back into the air, arcing on its neck before falling back to the ground with enough force to leave a hole where it landed. Its tendrils went limp, dropping Wendy, and it didn't move again.

Wendy stared at him in shock, as she lay recovering her breath. She knew he was strong, but what he had just done bordered on superhuman, or -pony, as the case may be.

"Soos! That was amazing!" squealed Mabel, tackling him in a hug.

He smiled at her, blushing. "You guys are my family, Mabel. What else could I do?"

"Ugh... What happened?..." Ford slowly raised his head, rubbing at it with a forehoof.

Mabel filled him in while the other two helped him to stand, all the while hugging him as best she could and praising his use of magical pyrotechnics. After checking that none of them were seriously hurt, aside from bruising, they decided it was well past time to reunite with the rest of the family.

* * *

Finally returning to where they had left Stan and Dipper, the four were stunned by the sight before them.

Stan lay stretched on his side on the ground, with Dipper bending over him. The colt turned his head at their approach, revealing his muzzle, stained dark with blood, along with a gash in the old stallion's neck. The large wooden timberwolf fang lay on the ground next to them, also blood-stained.

Mabel was the first to react-loudly. "AAAH! That wolf bite turned Dipper into a vampire!"

"And he killed Mr. Pines! _Whyyyyy?!_ " added Soos, falling to his knees with tears streaming down his face. His posture was something that a human would instinctively assume, but of which a pony should have been incapable. The others, however, were too distracted to notice this oddity.

Wendy just stared in shock, speechless.

Ford tensed, resisting the urge to pull Dipper away until he knew what was going on.

"I'm not dead!" Stan yelled over the noise, turning his head just enough to glare at them with one eye. "And Dipper's not a vampire. That's not even how it works, Mabel."

"Oh, I have no problem if he's a vampire now. But why is he sucking _your_ blood?"

Stan rolled his eyes, in no condition to argue with her. "He's saving my life, kid."

Dipper spat out a mouthful of blood, then bent over Stan's neck again.

"What happened?" Ford moved to examine the wound, nudging Dipper's head aside.

"Cockatrice bit me," said Stan, keeping as still as he could. "It was after Dipper. Apparently they're venomous..."

Dipper spat out a final mouthful. "I _really_ hate this," he groaned in disgust, attempting to wipe his muzzle clean with a foreleg. "Did I get it all?"

"You did great, kid..." Stan gave him a weak, but proud smile.

"I did? Great..." His eyes glazed over, and although he was lying down, his head swayed. "Now... if you'll excuse me... My leg is killing me... Think I'm gonna pass out now..." He fell unconscious instantly, muzzle planting into the ground as his head dropped.

Ford grabbed his mane, pulling the colt's nose from the dirt and setting his head at a more comfortable angle. Then he went back to checking on Stan's injury. Thankfully, Dipper had not lanced it too deeply with that wooden fang, but they would still need to keep a close eye on it. Unfortunately, there was no way to be sure at the moment if all of the venom had been extracted. With nothing else to be done, Ford set a foreleg over it and began applying pressure to stop the bleeding.

"Why do I smell burning hair?" Stan eyed his brother and the others closely. "And what happened to you guys? Did Mabel find new sparring partners after all?" He tried to laugh, but quickly stopped from the pain in his neck.

"Long story." Mabel laid down next to Dipper, spreading a wing over his back.

"Basically, we nearly got eaten by a giant plant monster." Wendy looked around their location, noting the cockatrice tracks. "We should find a better spot to rest."

"Stan can't be moved yet," said Ford. "Besides, we're actually safer here."

"Safer? But he just said a cockatrice came through here!"

"Which is exactly why we'll be safe. No sane creature would dare cross paths with one-"

"Gee, thanks," grumbled Stan.

"-and from the looks of things it was all over the place when my brother fought it. One whiff of that monster's scent and everything else will turn tail and run."

She nodded slowly in understanding, though the look on her face was still an uneasy one. As she started gathering wood for another lean-to, she said, "I'm taking first watch tonight."

Ford started to protest. "I could-"

She shook her head, cutting him off. "You took a tree to the head, _and_ set yourself on fire. You've done enough for today. Soos and I can manage."

"She's right, Mr. Pines. You just get some rest. We got this." Soos patted Ford's shoulder with a forehoof, then moved to help Wendy gather more wood.

"Set yourself on fire again? Why am I not surprised?" But Stan was grinning even as he made the remark.

"Says the guy who wrestled a cockatrice," Ford joked back, returning the smile. He laid down next to his twin, still keeping pressure on his wound. "We'll move out at first light. Hopefully we can pick up the trail again, or maybe a path out of here."

"That might be harder than you think, bro..."

"Hm?"

"Soos was right. The trees move."

Soos sighed, "Such is the blessing and curse of my wisdom... Aw well, maybe tomorrow will be better!"

"Don't jinx it!" the brothers cried in unison.


	8. Nightmares & Dreamwalking (Part 1)

Princess Luna, Sovereign Ruler of the Night, Shepherd of the Moon, and Guardian of Dreams, among numerous other titles, found herself uneasy, as her sister lowered the Sun and she rose the Moon to herald the night. She followed Celestia back to her bedroom, where a new scroll lay waiting on the floor.

Celestia was quick to open and read it, then she turned to Luna and shook her head at the unspoken question. "Still no sign of them."

"What of the castle's map?"

"According to Discord, their cutie marks disappeared from it after they reached that strange pit, but never reappeared."

"How did he know when they had reached it?"

Celestia raised an eyebrow. "How does he ever know anything? Who are we to fathom the ways of a chaos spirit?"

Luna thought this over for a moment, then shrugged in agreement. "Although..." she levitated one of Twilight's previous letters from that day, "his outburst and Pinkie Pie's... 'doozy', at what I presume to be the moment of the strangers' arrival, they are very unusual. What could cause such a reaction?"

Celestia moved to Philomena's cage, checking that her pet had food and water for the night. "I don't know, sister. But if I had to guess, it must be something powerful. Discord has shown himself prone to jealousy. You remember when I told you of the Gala incident?" The phoenix opened a sleepy eye, gave a soft chirp, and closed it again. It made the solar alicorn smile despite the situation.

Luna giggled at that memory. "The one with the Smooze? Oh yes!"

"Yes, and given that fact, it stands to reason that Discord might also become territorial."

Luna blinked in confusion, raising a hoof in protest. "What? But he knows-"

"-He accepts our rule, yes," Celestia explained patiently, "but I believe that deep down, some part of him still sees Equestria as 'his', and after Tirek's betrayal, he might now see it as even more so."

"You worry that these ponies could pose some threat? Have you had any visions recently?"

She was silent for a few moments, before turning back to face Luna with a grave expression. "You would know if I had. But if there is a threat, that is what you must find out tonight, dear sister."

Luna nodded, then sighed, toying with her mane uncomfortably, "To be honest, I'm worried as well..."

The white mare hugged her younger sister. "Be careful, Luna. I just wish I could go with you."

"You may not have power over sleep, Celestia, but there is something you can do." Luna climbed into her sister's bed and made herself comfortable. "If something goes wrong, you can break the spell by waking me."

Celestia nodded, then climbed into the bed beside her sister, settling down to keep watch.

The lunar alicorn closed her eyes, focusing on her spell. Her horn began to glow, sending out those white threads of magic that only she could see. They reached out beyond the room, beyond the castle and city, down the mountain and into the Everfree Forest. She quickly found Zecora, and searching further, several dragons, but it wasn't until she had nearly reached the heart of the forest that she came across the sleeping minds of six ponies.

In the star-filled dream realm, Luna saw six doors before her. One was elaborately carved, while another looked worn down, though still sturdy. Another one looked to be covered with colorful stickers. The fourth was a simple thing that looked as if it would be more at home on a broom closet. Another seemed to be a locker door, as she had seen in the dreams of factory workers, guards and police. The last door also had carvings, but these were simpler, as if the creator had tried to imitate the style of the ornately carved door, yet was still learning the craft.

Unsure of which to try first, she moved towards the closest one. It was the simpler of the two carved doors. Stepping through it, she sensed immediately that something was wrong. A blue unicorn foal with a fluffy brown mane and tail was stumbling through a bleak, foggy landscape full of flaming geysers. He moved sluggishly and with a dazed expression. There was also something off about the colt's horn and tail, but the fog made it difficult to tell what that was. She had been inside the dreams of of sick and injured ponies before, and the fog combined with the heat and his weak state here indicated a fever dream.

She took wing, flying towards him as he collapsed. Another geyser blast blocked her away for a moment, obscuring the colt from her sight. When she caught sight of him again, it was not a colt lying there, or rather it was, but not a _pony_ colt...

Luna had read Twilight's articles on the world of Human Equestria often enough to easily guess the colt's species. The hands and flat face were a dead giveaway, but there was also his clothing. Most ponies didn't wear pants, and the shoes were the wrong shape for hooves. Aside from this, he was also wearing a blue sweater with writing stitched in pink which she couldn't read. That his mental self was human, while according to Twilight and her friends, his physical form was clearly a pony, intrigued her. Perhaps this was a case of a transformation spell, as had happened to Twilight and Sunset as they passed through the Mirror Portal. But she quickly realized, looking at him again, that the poor colt was in no condition to answer any of her questions. His eyes were closed and his face flushed from the illness. His brown eyes slowly opened as she fanned him with her wings, but soon closed again.

The princess lowered her horn, touching it to the boy's forehead and casting her magic. The landscape around them dissolved into a black void, until only they two remained. She conjured a bed, gently settling him in it. Though unable to cure the fever from here, she could at least give him peace with a dreamless sleep for tonight.

She left that mind on silent wings, her magic calling her to another one of the doors, this one the oldest and worn. There was a nightmare here that needed vanquishing.

The place she found beyond the door was a dimly lit brick room. As she looked around, it appeared to be a giant throne room of some kind, and the throne itself was just as massive, fashioned from many human stone statues all jumbled together, and set atop a high dais shaped like a flat topped pyramid. The support beams holding up the roof were set at odd angles instead of being purely vertical. The only light source was from the huge, red stained glass window in the shape of an eye with a slitted pupil set behind the throne.

As Luna looked closer at the statues, she realized that many of them were in poses of running, cowering, or fighting, and all had looks of fear, anger, or pain on their faces. It made her wonder with a sick feeling if they were even statues at all...

A soft moan caught her attention, and she turned, spotting something lying on the floor beside the dais. In the red glow from the window was another human, a stallion by the look of him, but the lighting made it hard to tell his age. His eyes were closed, and his face contorted with pain. She flew down to get a closer look.

She caught sight of the silver band in what might have a been a fluffy grey mane. An old stallion, then. He was unconscious, and his breathing was rasping and labored. He wore glasses, though one of the lenses was cracked, along with a tattered and burnt red sweater, what might have been an equally worn brown trench coat, black pants, and brown boots. There was also a black belt worn across his chest in baldric fashion. She noticed an oddity as she saw his hands. Twilight had said that humans had five-she searched for the right word... fingers?-on each hand, but this one had six on both hands, the sixth being a double of the smallest finger. There were also burns on his pasterns-wrists, she corrected herself-that looked very much like shackle marks. As she pondered this, the stink of burning hair hit her nose, and she noticed that his mane and the lower half of his face were singed. If he once had a beard, it had been burned off. There were multiple bruises on him as well from what she could see of his skin, but her magic told her that he was not truly here. He was merely a part of the dream.

The echo of footsteps caught her attention, and she quickly hid herself in the shadows. This, she could sense, was the dream's owner, and it seemed unwise to be caught standing over the body of that hurt human.

Another human walked into view, and Luna started upon seeing his face. Twins? She looked back and forth between the two just to be sure, but there was no mistaking it. The only difference she could make out between them was in their style of dress. The one entering the room wore a black tuxedo with a red bow tie, white undershirt, and brown shoes. He also wore a red fez with a stylized gold crescent, along with glasses. His eyes might have been brown, though it was hard to tell due to the lighting, and she noticed that he was stricken with cataracts.

"There's gotta be an exit around here somewhere..." she heard him mutter as he looked around. Then he saw the body on the floor, and froze, a look of shock on his face. Then his expression changed to a mix of anger and sorrow, and a strange tension came over him. He seemed torn, quivering to move, yet holding himself back. Why did he not rush forward to aid his twin?

"No... Not again..." Even his gruff voice sounded strained, "I won't fall for this again!"

 _A lucid dreamer?_ Luna wondered. _Then, why does he not simply end the dream himself?_ Lucid dreamers were rare among her subjects. Often it was only through her intervention and revelation that they realized they were dreaming, but in those cases of lucidity, such ponies usually learned to completely master their dreams. Did he not yet have that level of control?

A new voice interrupted her thoughts, and it came from the injured human.

"...Br...Brother...?" He slowly opened his eyes, looking at the other with surprise. "You... You came?..."

"No..." The black dressed twin slowly shook his head, "No, this isn't happening... It's not real... It's not..."

"They-" The wounded twin coughed, blood dripping from his mouth. Luna did not need to be a physician to see that he was dying. "They said... said you'd abandoned me..." A look of betrayal came over his face, and his voice grew angry. "That you said I'd 'got what I deserved'... Why would you say that-?!" A coughing fit overtook him, and he lay gasping for breath when it had passed, staring at his brother with tear filled eyes.

His brother looked shocked at this statement, as if it were something new to the dream. "H-How could you know that? I never-"

" _The kids..._ They came for me... Told me everything... Tried to save me themselves... after _you wouldn't_..."

" _That's not true!_ " The dreamer roared, "I went with them! We _did_ save you! _None of this is real!_ "

Luna tensed, ready to spring from her hiding place. She had to stop this, but some instinct held her back. Something wasn't right here...

"Do you know what happened?..." The dying brother's voice was accusing now. "What he did to the kids?... They're dead!... Dead, because of you!..."

"No!"

"And now... Now we're all that's left..." The voice was grieving now, and he was openly weeping. "You came too late... Too late to save them... Too late... to save me..."

The dreamer seemed unable to move, only shaking his head again and repeating that this wasn't real. But the mantra brought him no comfort. Luna could see tears in his eyes and hear choking in his words as sorrow won out over disbelief.

" _Vwdqohb_..." The wounded twin reached out a hand to his brother, either too weak or too injured to pull himself across the floor.

Luna put a hoof to her ear, running its tip around the inside to clear out any wax buildup: a reflexive gesture. Surely that had been a name, but it had sounded like gibberish, like the soft bark of a dog.

" _Vwdqohb_ , I'm dying... Please... Don't leave me like this..." His voice had grown weaker, pleading.

" _Vwdqirug_... _No!_ You're not-!" His voice broke, and the dreamer closed his eyes, as if that would make any difference.

"... _Brother_..." The plea was no louder than a whisper, but it was enough.

What remained of the dreamer's resolve was shattered.

" _To heck with it!"_ he snarled, anguish clear on his face as he rushed forward. He fell to his knees beside the body, cradling it to his chest and fighting back sobs. " _Vwdqirug!..._ Brother, I'm here _..._ Forgive me..."

There was no answer.

"Brother?... _Vlahu?_..." He shook his twin gently, trying to rouse him.

The wounded twin's eyes were closed, and Luna could no longer hear him breathing.

" _Vwdqirug?... Vwdqirug?!"_ Tears streamed freely down his face now, and at the lack of response, he screamed. There were no words, it was a raw sound of rage and pain that echoed through the blood-lit chamber.

Luna spread her wings, determined to end this once and for all, but again, she found herself hesitating. True, there was a chance that he would attack her in a fit of grief-madness, but she had faced such situations before. No, it was something else that held her back. She reached out with her magic, searching through the dream...

The dreamer shook with emotion as he cradled his dead twin, no longer fighting the sobs that wracked him. " _Why?... "_

This was not a normal nightmare...

" _Why does this keep happening to me?!_ "

There was another presence here...

"You... really don't know?..."

Both the dreamer and Luna stared at the dead twin in shock.

His face, which had been peaceful in death, slowly twisted into a sneer as he opened his eyes. "You haven't figured it out yet?"

The dreamer could only blink in confusion.

"Oh come on, _Vwdqohb._ We both know you're not _that_ dumb." His voice changed in an instant to a threatening growl. " _You know perfectly well who I am..."_

The dreamer pushed his "twin" away, scooting backwards across the floor. "Hey- Hey, get away from me!" His eyes were wide in alarm.

The other human picked himself off the floor, standing to his full height. The smile on his face was not a pleasant one as he looked into the dreamer's eyes.

"Ah... So you _do_ know me... But I think... Yes..." His voice became sing-song. " _I think somebody's in deniiiial._ But you've been a good sport about this. So why don't I just-"

He moved with lightning speed, seizing the dreamer by his shirt collar and lifting him to eye level before the other could react.

" _-give you a clue!"_

The dreamer could only gurgle a reply, his eyes squeezed shut in pain and his hands clawing at the six fingered claw that was twisting the front of his shirt, choking him.

"Look at me, _Vwdqohb! Look into my eyes!"_

The dreamer forced himself to look, and his face drained of color, eyes wide in shock.

" _YOU!"_

Luna shifted for a better look, and saw that the thing which held the dreamer had different eyes now. They glowed yellow in the dim light, and had slits for pupils.

The creature began to laugh, releasing the dreamer. His form shuddered and distorted as he laughed, until he was no longer a human. Floating there now was a glowing, yellow, triangle-shaped creature with skinny black arms and legs. He had hands, but with only four fingers. The only feature on what might have been called his face was a single eye with a slit pupil and long lashes above and below it. There was a brick-like pattern below his eye which continued down the rest of his triangle body. He was also wearing a black top hat and bow tie. His voice changed, rising in pitch from the human's rasping laughter, to a high nasally cackle. It had an echo to it, as she had heard changeling voices had.

The dreamer fell to his knees where he had been dropped, rubbing his throat and glaring up at the creature.

The thing seemed to smile with his eye, and there was the sound of ominous music steadily rising in the background. It was the sound of quickening hoofbeats, followed by a drum overlaid with something that reminded her of a bass guitar, but it had a strange buzz to the chords. One of those modern "electric" instruments? The triangular beast listened for a moment, snapping his fingers to the beat, then he began to sing:

" _My return is a mystery._

 _Thought you had control of me?_

 _I'm offended that you're so surprised._

 _That first defeat was a practice round,_

 _But I pulled myself off the ground,_

 _And I've already planned your demise-"_

"Can it, Cipher!" barked the dreamer.

Luna flicked an ear in surprise. Why had she understood the name that time?

The music cut off with a sound like a record scratch, and the creature, Cipher, crossed his arms, eyelids narrowing in what Luna could guess was annoyance. "Well if you're going to be rude about it. At least your brother let me finish my song first."

"You leave _Vwdqirug_ out of this!"

Cipher chuckled nastily. "Oh yeah, you're not the only one who does a pretty good impression of your brother, _ARE YOU?_ " At those final two words, his voice became a yell of outrage, and his eye flashed from white to red. Then his eye faded back to white, and he shifted into a reclining pose, still floating in front of the human, who slowly got to his feet.

"Oh please," Cipher said in mock politeness, "don't get up on my account." He snapped his fingers, and glowing blue chains sprung out of the floor. The dreamer cried out in pain as the things tightly shackled his wrists and neck, pulling him back down to his knees.

"It's been a while, _Vwdqohb..."_ Cipher changed position again, hands clasped behind his back as he continued to float, circled the bound stallion. "So..." He got behind the human, whispering into his ear. " _Did you miss me?"_

The stallion shuddered, and Cipher chuckled again, ruffling his hair.

"So that's your 'big revenge scheme'?" growled the stallion, making what Luna guessed were quotation marks with his fingers as he spoke. "Driving me insane?"

"Well... I _was_ going to slowly disassemble your molecules, but then I remembered how much more fun this is!"

The stallion blinked in confusion. "Disassemble my- wait how would that even work? You don't have a body anymore, _remember?_ "

Cipher's eye narrowed. " _Yes... I remember..._ In fact-" He suddenly grew in size, eye blazing red again as he flew back in front of the stallion, blinding red light from his eye forcing the human to look away. "- _IT'S THE ONLY REASON_ _YOU'RE STILL ALIVE!_ "

"What? What are you talking about?" The human was wincing from the yell.

Cipher returned to normal size, and his eye changed back to white, seemingly calm again in an instant. He conjured a gold cane in one hand, twirling it thoughtfully. After a few moments, he spoke again. "Thanks to that little _stunt_ you pulled, I'm currently too weak to leave this wrinkly flesh sack you call a brain. Otherwise you'd be dead _long_ before now."

The stallion gave his own chuckle at that. "The jokes on you, demon. We both know you can't really hurt me in the mindscape. _Glsshu_ told me about the time you shot him through the chest during his first dreamwalk to get you out of my head. The worst you could do was scare him!"

Cipher smiled with his eye again, looking smug. "Oh really? So if I did... let's say, _this-_ " He snapped his fingers.

Instantly the stallion screamed in pain, doubling over as a patch on his right shoulder blade glowed orange hot, burning through both of his shirts in a strange symbol. He groaned, panting on the floor as the glow from the brand slowly faded, though it was still inflamed and clearly painful.

Cipher looked, if possible, even more smug. "Now see, that looked like it actually hurt. Whaddya say, tough guy? Want me to test your theory _**again?**_ " On this last word, his voice dropped several octaves to a demonic bass.

Enough was enough. Luna soared skyward, horn glowing to combat this creature, but was stopped short, yanked back to the ground by more of the glowing blue chains suddenly springing up beneath her. One quickly wrapped around her muzzle, preventing her from calling out as she fell. Once she was down, the chains snaked over her back, neck, legs, and wings, pinning her to the floor. She tried to remove them with her magic, but was unable to.

"What was that?" gasped the dreamer, looking in her direction at the noise. "What's that glowing thing?"

"Oh, just a guest." Cipher snapped his fingers again, and the chains wrapped further around Luna, dragging her into the light, until she lay in front of the human.

The dreamer raised an eyebrow at her, but did not seem overly surprised. "Huh... I gotta tell you, I don't mind dreaming of beautiful women, but..." He looked her over, "You're not exactly my type." Noticing her crown, which had somehow stayed on her head, he quickly added, "Er-no offense, Your Highness."

Luna was unsure of how to take that particular comment. But if he could still joke despite his pain, that was probably a good sign. Unless he was one of those who only joked to cover fear...

" _Vwdqohb,"_ Cipher gestured from him to Luna by way of introduction, "meet pony Princess Moon-Butt. She's a dreamwalker in this world."

"Nice to meet you... or it _would be_ if we didn't have to deal with this _maniac_..."

"Flattery will get you nowhere."

The dreamer shut his eyes with a sigh, muttering, "Sweet Lord..."

Cipher patted his head demeaningly, his voice taking a lecturing tone. "Exorcism won't help ya, kid. I'm not _that_ kind of demon."

" _Doesn't make you any less of a Hellspawn..."_

That got a laugh from Cipher. "Ha! A Hellspawn!" He drifted to the ground, resting an elbow on Luna's barrel, while gesturing with his other hand. "Can you believe this guy? He's gonna have therapy bills a mile long because of me, but he _still_ has a sense of humor!"

Luna tried to speak, but the chain around her muzzle muffled her words.

The dreamer reached out to her to try and remove it, but the demon snapped his fingers, sending the stallion into another scream of agony as his brand flared hot again.

Luna tried yelling in the Royal Canterlot Voice, but it too was muffled and unintelligible.

Cipher ignored her, keeping his attention on the dreamer. "You didn't like that, did you? Well, _I didn't like being humiliated and punched in the eye!_ "

"What was the _first one_ for then?..."

" _Because I felt like it!"_

The human slowly pushed himself upright again, wincing at the pain in his back. "How-How did you-?"

"How was I able to hurt you? Well you can thank Shooting Star and Pine Tree for reminding me what a lack of sleep does to you humans. How are the little brats anyway? Did they get eaten yet?"

" _None of your business..."_

"Oh well, I'll just look through your memories later... Anyway! All I had to do was keep you sleep deprived from nightmares for long enough and it completely screwed up your mental state. I've already got you sleepwalking. Confuse it a little more..." He punched the dreamer across the face, sending him sprawling to the floor again. "And you feel _actual pain!_ "

The stallion rubbed at his face, feeling for anything broken, then looked down to see blood on his hand. That punch had given him a split lip.

"Understand _now?_ " Cipher rubbed his hands together, a malicious gleam in his eye. "Now, if I were to take this to its logical conclusion..." One of his fingers became a serrated claw, and he pressed it to the stallion's throat. His voice dropped to a whisper. " _Well... I'm sure you've heard the stories... The ones about people who die in their dreams?"_

Several tense seconds passed. Then Cipher removed his claw, and the dreamer let out a breath, glaring harshly at the demon.

"Of course, I can't take _all_ the credit for your current condition," continued Cipher. "You're right about one thing. I could drive you to insanity, even kill you once your mind was unhinged enough, but I couldn't cause you this much pain in your world no matter how confused your brain was. But we're not in your world anymore, _**are we?**_ You see, _Vwdqohb,_ in this world, nightmares have a bad habit of becoming reality... _Isn't that right, Luna?_ "

Luna's eyes widened in shock, but this only made the creature laugh.

"Oh don't look so surprised, Princess, I can read your mind in here too... _Such a scandal!_ " He stroked her mane, running his fingers through the stars. "But then again-" Music swelled in the background once more: the beat of a drum and the melody of piano, and Cipher began to sing.

" _Why shouldn't they adore you?_

 _Was it not within your right?_

 _You'd not be overshadowed!_

 _Yours was not the lesser light-!"_

Images flashed across his body as if it were a projector screen, images from her past. Luna shut her eyes, ears folding tight against her skull. She would not let this creature have the satisfaction of "getting inside her head", as the modern ponies called it.

"Hey!" yelled the dreamer. "Leave the lady out of this! It's me you want!"

The images and music stopped, and Cipher turned his attention back to the dreamer. "Feeling chivalrous, are you?" He rolled his eye. "You humans and your heroic tendencies... If I could vomit, I would. Oh it's adorable now and again, but _yeesh_... Hey, want to see just how vulnerable dreamwalkers are in this world's mindscape?"

He suddenly turned back to Luna, slashing her across the flank with fingers that had become claws.

She yelled, but was bound too tightly to move.

Blood oozed from the cuts, staining the fur of her cutie mark, and Cipher looked at it with mild interest. "Huh, just like regular ponies... Who knew?"

The dreamer tried to lunge at Cipher, but was held fast by his own chains. "YOU SON OF A-"

Cipher slapped a hand across his mouth. " _Language._ We have a lady present."

Luna growled several of her own choice insults at the beast.

He had no eyebrow to raise, but still somehow managed to pull off that look. It quickly changed to a look of indignation. " _Hey!_ I'll have you know-!" Then a thought crossed his mind, and he shrugged. "Actually, nevermind. You basically hit the nail on the head. Well, I'm off to rummage through _Vwdq'v_ recent memories. Be back to torture you later!"

Flying over to a nearby wall, a door popped into existence with a label she couldn't read. Cipher opened it and entered the room beyond, but left the door open a crack behind him.

Once they could hear the sounds of Cipher digging through piles of something and tossing other things, the human pulled a key from inside his sleeve. However, it took him a few moments to realize that the shackles lacked any keyholes. He rolled his eyes, and the key shimmered, transforming into a miniature pair of bolt cutters.

They listened quietly for a few seconds to make sure that Cipher was still occupied.

His voice could be heard from the other side of the door. "Nope... Nope... Pretending I never saw that... Nope..."

The human slid the bolt cutters over to Luna. "You need these more than I do."

Levitating the cutters and freeing her muzzle, she asked, "But what about you?"

"I'm the distraction," he grinned.

She nodded uneasily, then set to work cutting her chains. Just as she finished, they heard Cipher's yell.

" _VWDQOHB, YOU IDIOT!"_

Luna quickly turned herself to shadow and hid among the other shadows.

The stallion, meanwhile, banished the pair of bolt cutters, glancing at the door as Cipher emerged in a rage.

" _You let yourself get bitten by a COCKATRICE?!"_

If Luna had a mouth in shadow form, she would have gasped.

"Didn't know you cared so much."

"I don't care about _you._ But until I get my full power back, _my life is tied to yours._ " As if to better illustrate this, a thin golden chain appeared, one end around Cipher's wrist, the other end around the human's. Cipher banished it once he had the stallion's attention.

"Relax," said the human. "I had _Glsshu_ suck the venom out."

Cipher groaned, rubbing at his eye as if he had a headache. "There's no way Pine Tree got all of it... You won't die tonight, but without anti-venom we've got another day, _maybe_ two at most, if you don't all drop dead of dehydration first." Then he seemed to notice the empty place where Luna had been. " _Where's the Princess?"_

The stallion shrugged. "She left while you were busy. Something about not liking you or my jokes."

"You told her jokes?"

"Yeah, but she thought they were terrible. Hey, do you think my jokes are terrible?"

Cipher thought about this for a few moments. "Let's see what you've got..."

"My ex-wife still misses me... But her aim is gettin' better!"

The demon snickered.

"So you like that one? Well here's another: I used to have an ant farm, but I had to get rid of it... because I couldn't find tractors that small!"

This one earned him a chuckle.

"What's black and blue and yellow all over?"

"Huh... I don't know. What?"

The human gave a cheeky smile. " _You."_

Cipher barked out a laugh, then realized what he'd said. "Wait, what?"

A sudden blast from Luna's horn smashed the creature into the far wall, leaving a dent. She emerged from the shadows in full battle armor.

At the same time, the stallion quickly cut his chains with a new pair of bolt cutters, then wrapped the glowing blue links around his hands. He glanced at Luna and whistled in approval. "That's a good look for you."

She gave a smile, then a questioning look at the chains.

"In case I get close enough to punch him again," he explained with a wink, then focused back on their enemy.

Cipher pried himself out of the wall, chuckling darkly. "Clever mortals... So that's how you want to play now? Alright then, _let's play._ " Blue flames engulfed his hands, and he launched a fireball straight towards them.

Luna raised a shield with her magic to block the attack, then took flight, firing another magic blast from her horn as she did. Meanwhile, the stallion moved behind one of the room's support beams, using it as cover. She saw something materialize in his hands, but her attention was more focused on Cipher at the moment.

Cipher teleported several feet away to avoid her blast, and fired his own beam of magic from his eye.

Luna was forced into a mid-air roll to dodge it, and as she straightened out, she saw the human lean out from behind the support beam with an odd weapon in hand. It resembled a very thin, long cannon with two barrels, and a wooden piece at the end which rested against its wielder's shoulder. He jerked backwards as it fired with a loud bang, but she could see no projectiles. They must have been very small, or moving very fast. Quite possibly both.

Cipher yelled in pain even before the sound of the blast had finished echoing, his hands moving to inspect the two new holes through his body just below his eye. " _You'll pay for that!"_ he yelled, throwing another fireball at the human, even as his wounds sealed themselves.

The stallion quickly rolled behind another beam as his original cover was blasted to pieces by the fireball. Luna saw him patting out tiny clothing fires as several glowing embers landed on him, his weapon forgotten at his feet. She cast a low powered frost spell to help him, and although shivering from the sudden cold, he nodded in thanks.

Getting an idea, the alicorn shot a more powerful ice spell from her horn towards the demon. Cipher countered this with a blast of fire, just as she guessed he would. The room was quickly filled with steam as the two held their attacks, each seeking the upper hand. Over the crack and hiss of fire meeting ice, Luna heard several fainter sounds of metal on stone. There were suddenly more hisses, and a large darker plume within the steam cloud as Cipher cried out in pain.

" _My eye! Not ag-!"_ His yell was abruptly cut off as her ice beam froze him solid without his fire blast to hold it back.

"HA! Eat smoke bombs, sucker!" yelled the stallion, coming over to the demon and laughing. Then he suddenly groaned in pain, clutching his back. "Ow... Everything hurts..." He looked to Luna as she landed beside him. "Is this kind of thing normal?"

She nodded unhappily. "I am afraid Cipher spoke the truth on that score. In this world, dreams are much more than mere illusion." Turning to the frozen creature, she decided to send him off with the traditional farewell of a wrathful warrior princess.

The light suddenly dimmed, and stormclouds formed, swirling overhead as the wind became a frenzy, lashing her star filled mane and tail. The human beside her looked around in bewilderment and fear, clutching his fez to his head to keep it from being blown away.

"Hey, what's going on here?!"

He jumped as lightning tore across the ceiling and thunder echoed through the chamber. "Uh, Princess-Whoa!" This time his jump was away from her as her eyes glowed white and she slowly rose to hover before the still-frozen Cipher.

Luna glared straight into the creature's eye and unleashed the force of her Royal Canterlot Voice.

" _WE HAVE BESTED THEE, DEMON! BEGONE AND TROUBLE THIS DREAM NO FURTHER!"_

Cipher glared right back at her, and Luna met his gaze, unflinching. Then he began to laugh, and she blinked in confusion, causing her eyes to cease their glow and her storm to vanish. She fluttered back to the ground, somewhat annoyed now. This thing dared to laugh at _her?!_

The ice around him cracked and shattered, force the human and her to shield their faces from the shards.

"You know what, Princess?" he said, reclining mid-air and pointing at her. "You've impressed me. I expected ponies to be more skittish, but you actually made this fun. Those theatrics at the end were pretty cute too. So I'll let you have this round... As for _you-_ " he turned his attention to the stallion. "-glad to see you still have some fight left in you. _You're gonna need it..._ See you in your nightmares! And remember: Reality is an illusion! The universe is a hologram! Buy gold! Bye!" His voice echoed on that final word and a flash of light obscured him, then he was gone.

Luna glanced at the stallion with a puzzled expression. "Is he always that... insane?"

"Yeah. Never heard him sing before though..." his own expression grew wary as she banished her armor. "Remind me to never get on your bad side..."

That got a smirk from her. "That would be wise, but you were in no danger then." Then she stomped a hoof, the annoyance returning to her face. "But that he had the gall to mock me?! That display should have put the Fear of the Night into him!"

"Yeah well, he doesn't scare easy..." the look changed to one of concern as he looked her over. "How's your hip?"

"Do not worry," She looked back to examine the jagged claw marks. "T'is only a minor wound. Yours however... Perhaps you should let me see to it." He was tall when compared to a pony. She had not realized that until now.

"There's not much you'll be able to do, Your Highness." he turned around to let her see the mark. "That's a..." he seemed to search for the right word, "an actual, _physical_ injury. I've had it for years."

She studied it carefully, then gently touched her horn to the brand and began a healing spell. If what he said were true, then her spell would do little more than ease the pain Cipher had inflicted. But even that small comfort would help. "This... This is an alchemy sigil! I don't quite understand its meaning but... How did you get this? Did that brute-?"

He chuckled, but the sound held no mirth in it. "Oh no, no it wasn't him. It was an accident. My brother and I... Heh, we got into a stupid fight... It turned into a brawl... He knocked me into a glowing hot panel." He sighed with relief, as the swelling lessened, and the brand returned to its normal dark coloring. Now it simply resembled an unusual tattoo. "Thank you, and... thanks for helping me out with that creep."

"Think nothing of it," she smiled, turning the spell to her own wound. "As Princess of the Night, it is my duty to walk amid the dreams of my subjects and guard them from night terrors."

He raised an eyebrow at that, turning around to face her properly. "OK... Uh, no offense, Princess, but I'm clearly not one of your subjects..."

"Clearly," she teased. "But nevertheless, you are within the borders of our kingdom, and have taken pony form in flesh. Thus, you are under my care."

"Oh," Then his eyes narrowed. "Wait a minute... How do you know I turned into a pony?"

She raised a hoof in a placating gesture. "Please, be not alarmed. We were notified of your arrival into our world by magic, and a search party went out to find you. They found your hoofprints. I am sorry to say this, but you have chosen a very poor place to arrive. That particular forest is the most dangerous in all of Equestria."

His shoulders slumped, and he sighed heavily. "Just our luck... Well, if you know a way out of it, you'd better go to my brother's mind. He got the brains of the family. By the way, you wouldn't happen to know a cure for cockatrice bites, would you?"

She shook her head. "Not without proper medicine, I'm afraid. But I will inform the search party, and see that they find you in time."

"It's not just me that needs help. Listen, my nephew-"

"The human colt who's dream I last visited? I would have taken you for his grandsire, instead of an uncle."

"I'm his grand-uncle, but that's beside the point. One of those wooden wolf things broke his leg. Wait, you were in his dream too?" A teasing smile crossed his face. "He must've driven you _crazy_ with questions! He loves learning about new magical creatures."

Luna's face grew grave. "His dream was feverish, and he was unable to speak with me. He is very ill."

The smile vanished instantly, replaced with deep worry. "That's not good. You need to tell my brother."

"I shall." She turned to leave, then stopped, looking back at him. "Does your brother know of the creature that haunts you?"

The stallion suddenly looked uneasy, rubbing the back of his head. He avoided her searching gaze. "Not exactly... No..."

Luna remained silent, giving him a raised eyebrow.

The stallion waved his hands at her, as if to somehow shield himself. "Look, he knows about the nightmares. But I can't just tell him that guy's in my head, he'd freak!"

"And that frightens you?"

He looked confused. "What? No, of course not! It's just... It's complicated. I... I don't want to scare him... Or the kids... Hot Belgian Waffles, if the kids ever find out-!" Both hands went to his head, his expression shifting to alarm.

She opened her mouth to speak, but he suddenly grabbed her shoulders. His grip was surprisingly strong for a being so old. She was no judge of human age, but if it worked the same as for ponies, then he was perhaps in his sixth or seventh decade.

"You _can't_ tell him about this! Promise me you won't!" His eyes were pleading.

She gently lessened his grip with her magic, schooling her expression into a neutral one. "I will make no such promise either way." Her voice was gentle, but firm. "I cannot force you to tell him, but I will not stand idle if this monster continues to torment you. Has it not crossed your mind that he and your foals are already worried for you? Would it not do them more harm than good to keep this secret?"

He looked away, releasing her. Then he sat down with a groan, cradling his head in his hands. "I... This is just too much right now..."

She sat down beside him, letting the silence linger for a moment. "I do not mean to cause you further distress. But, at least think on what I have said..."

He nodded slowly, looking up at her again. "You should go. I can handle things here, for tonight anyway..."

She dipped her head gracefully, then rose to leave. A sudden touch on her leg stopped her as she spread her wings.

"I never caught your name, Princess."

"Call me Luna."

He blinked in confusion, cupping a hand to his ear. "Could you say that again?"

" _Lu-na,_ " she said, slowly and clearly.

He blinked again, brows furrowed. "Moon Silver...? Huh... Well, it suits you." He gestured to her cutie mark.

Now it was Luna's turn to blink in confusion. "That... Ah... I suppose is close enough..." She would ask Celestia about this strange problem later. It seemed she was not the only one who had trouble understanding names tonight. "And, what is your name?"

"It's _Vwdqohb_ , _Vwdqohb_ Pines."

"Pines? Like the tree? Could you repeat your first name? I did not quite understand it..."

"Yeah, like the tree, and it's _Vwdqohb,_ " he said, sounding it out for her. " _Vwdq-ohb._ "

She focused on the sounds, on the parts of the name, and a vague impression came to her. It was the sight and feel of stone under her hooves, and then of a forest clearing...

"Stone... Clearing...?"

He looked, if possible, even more confused. "How the heck did you get 'Stone Clearing' out of _Vwdqohb_?"

She shook her head. "I have no idea. To be honest, your name sounds more like a dog barking than anything else."

He crossed his arms over his chest with an annoyed scowl. "Oh yeah? Well your name sounds like a horse whinny."

She couldn't help but giggle at that. "Does it really?"

"Yep!" His scowl softened into a smile, before a more thoughtful look crossed his face. "So... We've got a language barrier?"

Luna was impressed. Despite his claim, this stallion clearly had plenty of wits. It made her wonder just how clever the brother was by comparison. She was also scolding herself for not recognizing the language barrier for what it was sooner.

"It would seem so. Than again, this is the first time I have walked in an non-ungulate's dreams."

"Well, I guess that's another thing you can ask about. Oh, and be careful when you get in there. He's... kinda paranoid."

She nodded in thanks, then took flight, blasting a hole through the stained glass window to return to the dreamrealm.

* * *

Author's Note: The two songs Bill Cipher sings are from the brony music community and can be found on youtube. Be sure to check out their other great hits! :)

"Getting Stronger" by Michelle Creber, Black Gryph0n, and Baasik

and

"The Moon Rises" by Ponyphonic

Also: If you want to know what the "gibberish" Luna heard means, here's a little game the creators of Gravity Falls liked to play with the audience. ;) :) The clue to break the code is: kcaB sretteL eerhT

 _Also, Reviewer Q &A:_

Q: Rhettbutler "Question: Is this set after The Crystalling?"

A: Yes, this is set after The Crystalling.

Q: Matt "Where'd you get the mushroom plant monster idea?"

A: I made it up! :)


	9. Nightmares & Dreamwalking (Part 2)

Luna decided to try the more ornately carved door this time. The simpler door had been the nephew's, so this one must belong to the brother. From the stallion's remark about his nephew, it was an easy guess that the colt was scholarly. Had he been following in the brother's footsteps? If so, the similar designs of their dream doors would make sense.

The scene she entered now had the look of a small, private library, lit only by the dim glow of lanterns. The walls were lined with bookshelves that vanished into the shadows, the floor was carpeted, and a table stood before her, piled high with books and scrolls. But she could see that all was not well with this dream. Mist curled and drifted in the darkness, and everything had blurred, unfocused edges. Luna quickly recognized the signs. This dreamer was suffering from a head wound, most likely a concussion.

The soft thump of something hitting the carpet caught her attention. Looking closer into the shadows, she found the human stallion she had come for. Although she could only see him from the back, he appeared to be dressed in the clothes Cipher had worn when impersonating him. The old stallion seemed to have not noticed her yet, and was intent on searching the bookshelf in front of him. He pulled book after book from the shelf, tucking some under one forelimb and throwing others to the floor in frustration. Aside from those sounds, the place was completely silent.

The alicorn scuffed a hoof against the carpet, debating how she should approach.

The dreamer paused in his search at the subtle noise. Although his ears were nowhere near flexible enough to show emotion as a pony's were, she could see in the rest of his body that he was on edge, alert for anything. Luna froze as well, waiting. After a few tense seconds, he seemed to relax again, and plucked another book from the shelf.

She was just softly letting out the breath she had been holding-when that book came flying straight towards her head.

On reflex, she caught it with her magic. A sigh of relief escaped her that she had avoided being struck, only to realize her mistake too late.

"I see that no one warned you."

Feeling a suddenly sense of dread, Luna slowly lowered the book, and found herself staring straight down the barrel of a loaded crossbow.

"I don't take kindly to dreamwalkers," said the human, his voice cold, and his aim steady.

Luna kept perfectly still, her mind racing. The stallion had moved to point blank range, and was aiming the bow at her center of mass. They both knew that she would not be able to grab the bolt with magic if he fired, nor would she be able to jerk the bow off target in time, and a shot this close would undoubtedly pierce her collar, killing her.

"Cancel that spell, Your Highness," he said, looking her over. "No tricks. Fold those wings up."

But the alicorn had something else in mind. Her horn flared brighter for an instant, blinding them both, and she heard the impact of a bolt hitting the book she had moved to block it-before teleporting to the other side of the room. Knowing she only had a few moments before he fired at her again, she teleported the crossbow out of his hands. It reappeared beside her even as he rolled for cover behind a nearby bookshelf.

Hoping that he would come peacefully now that she had his weapon, she called, "Do you treat all guests this way? Or am I an exception?"

A second bolt flew her way as he leaned out to fire another crossbow around the shelf, and as she caught the bolt with her magic, she saw the ghost of a smile cross his face at her sarcasm, "Call it a precautionary measure. This wouldn't harm you in my dimension's mindscape, but here? Judging from your reaction, I'd say it's somewhat more lethal..."

When he broke cover to shoot at her again, it was not a crossbow he held. She teleported again as a blue energy blast burned the floor where she had been standing. Hovering above him, she had another view of his weapon. The closest she could describe it was as a tiny cannon with the trigger similar to a crossbow's, and with the barrel shaped like an upside down triangle. The grey metal of the weapon was stained and dull, there was some sort of dial on the side of the barrel, and the way he held it indicated a strong familiarity with its use.

He looked up at the sound of her wingbeats, and she fired a magic beam from her horn to chase him out from underneath her before he could shoot again. Perhaps if she could just keep him moving, she could tire him before this fight got out of hoof, and one of them became seriously hurt.

"I am not here to fight you!" she called, "I merely wish to talk!"

"Like I haven't heard _that_ one before," he growled, ducking behind the table and firing at her. "You'll get no reward for me, dream demon! Or didn't you hear? Your boss is gone!"

 _Reward? Dream demon? What is he talking about?_ Mentally running through various tactics and spells while conjuring a magical shield against his energy blasts, and already growing annoyed that he failed to see reason, she slipped back into her old habit of speech, "If thou seekest to impress Us with thy skill in battle, thou art failing miserably."

She heard a dry laugh from him, "That's rich, coming from someone who just fell for the oldest trick in the book!"

Her confusion at his statement was just enough of a distraction, that she momentarily lost focus on maintaining her shield. But that confusion vanished as a weighted net suddenly dropped on her from above. She hit the ground hard, sore but uninjured, and not for the first time, grateful of the earth pony durability alicorns were blessed with. She tried to lift the net off with her magic, only to realize that it was coated with some manner of glue. It was not only stuck to her, but to the floor as well, leaving her trapped.

The human came towards her, leveling his weapon, "Did you come alone, or are there others in here with you?" He asked, glancing around the room for a moment.

"Release me at once!" ordered Luna. "I came alone, to _help_ you, ungrateful cur! I am no demon!"

"I'm not taking any chances." His voice was cold, and she saw his finger tighten on the trigger.

Knowing she had only seconds, the alicorn fired a beam of magic, striking him on the shoulder. He cried out in pain, dropping his weapon. It dissolved into mist the instant he let go. The stallion fell to his knees, clutching at his wound for a few moments and glaring at her, then he swayed, releasing his wound and reaching toward his head as his eyes rolled. He slumped to the floor in a faint as the room around them vanished into black nothingness. The net holding Luna disappeared, and she moved to his side, afraid for a moment that she had used too much power and maimed him.

Gently rolling him over, she sighed with relief on seeing the damage. It would hurt when he awoke, and the burn was serious, but it was not life threatening. Lowering her horn to the injury, she began a healing spell.

He groaned, slowly opening his eyes. They widened in shock on seeing her so close, and preoccupied as she was, Luna couldn't react fast enough to dodge his incoming fist.

She reeled, dazed at the force of his blow, and staggered away from him. She raised a hoof to her muzzle, wincing. Nothing felt broken, but the hoof came away bloody.

The stallion slowly got to his feet, his uninjured hand wearing a set of blood-covered brass knuckles. He seemed confused as he looked at her, though it was hard to tell with her eyes watering. He was rolling his hurt shoulder slowly, prodding at it gently with the other hand. She had only partially healed it.

Finally, satisfied that he could use the limb without too much difficulty, another crossbow appeared in his hands, loaded and pointing straight at her, "What were you doing to me?"

"I was healing you, you fool," It was hard to tell what her tone of voice was, due to her bleeding muzzle, but the look on her face was one of deep annoyance.

Slowly, he relaxed his hold on the crossbow, an uncertain look on his face.

Luna sighed, focusing her healing spell on herself now. When she was finished, she said, "You have seen my power. If I wanted to kill you, I would have by now."

He thought this over, then lowered the bow, pointing it towards the ground, "I'm not saying I believe you. But suppose for the sake of argument, that you're telling the truth. If you're not a dream demon, how did you get into my mind?"

"Magic," she said simply, as if that explained everything, "As you yourself said, I am a dreamwalker."

He smirked, shaking his head a little at that, as if chiding himself for not expecting such an answer, "I noticed something else strange about you. Your speech is normal now, but just a short while ago, it got a little _archaic_. Are you a time traveler also?"

Inwardly, she winced at her slip up, while outwardly her eyes narrowed. She had the feeling that he was teasing her about it, but she resisted the urge to smack him. His question, however, caught her off guard, and she blushed, "Not exactly... I am more of a... 'mare out of time', as the common folk say..."

He chuckled softly at that, "I know the feeling..." Then he winced, raising a hand to his head. The weapon in his other hand shimmered, blurring further.

Luna took a cautious step towards him, her wings opening.

The crossbow was pointed at her throat in an instant, solid once more, though the dreamer's face bore a pained expression.

"Please," she said in her calmest voice, "do not strain yourself. It will only make your head injury worse. What proof do you need that I am not here to harm you? I only wish to talk." She could see fear in his eyes, but it was not the same as her subjects had once held. He was not afraid of her. _But of what then?_

Several moments passed. Then he approached her cautiously, never lowering the bow until he was right in front of her. She kept perfectly still, wondering what he was doing. When he stood so close that they were almost nose to nose, he reached into his coat and pulled out a tiny flashlight. She saw the crossbow disappear, then felt one hand grip her under the jaw. Slowly, he turned her head to shine the light into each eye. She winced at the brightness, but tried to keep her eyes open as best she could.

Finally, he stepped back with a slow nod, returning the flashlight to the inner pockets of his coat. "Alright... I believe you. For now." As he spoke, the library slowly reformed around them, though still dimly lit and blurred at the edges. Then he bowed low to her, bending at the waist. She supposed it would be impractical to do it as ponies did with only two legs, "Apologies, Your Highness. I've had... bad experiences with dreamwalkers in the past."

She dipped her head gracefully in return, "Apology accepted." She remembered his brother's warning and decided not to mention her visit to the twin, or Cipher for that matter, in case it might set him off again. "I suppose it was my own fault. I should have realized that a non-pony might react poorly to my presence."

His eyes narrowed suddenly, "And which 'non-ponies' did you visit before me?"

 _Horseapples._ Now she would have to say something. He might react worse if he caught her in a lie. "Your... grandson?" she ventured.

He threw himself backwards at her answer, putting as much distance between them as he could, and slid a few meters on his back as a new weapon materialized in his hands. He quickly recovered and stood, aiming the new device with practiced ease. This time it was a larger grey weapon that was pointed at her. Her first thought was that it was a larger version of his earlier energy weapon, and the closest comparison which came to mind was a small square cannon with a pincer shape at the opening. The thing was nearly as long as the human was tall. The metal was stained and dull, and there were several dials and buttons on it. The stallion held it with two handles spaced apart on the bottom. The closest handle to him was what had the trigger, and there was also a black piece sticking out the back of the device which rested against his shoulder. Mounted atop the weapon was a tiny black spyglass, which he used to aim it with, somehow managing to glare at her with one eye shut. The pincer shape at the front was open vertically, and a glowing blue bulb of energy quivered and crackled in the mouth between the claws.

 _"What were you doing in my nephew's mind?!"_ he snarled, looking furious.

Something told her that this strange shoulder cannon was much more dangerous than the tiny cannon he had threatened her with earlier. Her wings flared defensively, and she saw his finger tighten on the trigger. " _Hold!_ " she cried, trying not to use the Royal Canterlot Voice and forcing herself to keep still against the fight or flight response. "We have done no harm to thy foal! Merely eased a nightmare he was having, _as is Our duty!_ "

He relaxed slightly, but only just, keeping the weapon trained on her, "I'm listening. But I suggest you speak quickly."

This one was swiftly getting on her nerves, but losing her temper would be a fatal mistake. Looking into his face, she could see a mix of rage and hatred, but now there was uncertainty, and deeper in his eyes, that unnamed fear still lurked...

Taking a deep breath, Luna calmed herself, and spoke, "I am Princess Luna. Diarch of this land of Equestria, Ruler of the Night, and Guardian of Dreams. It is my duty to walk the dreams of my subjects and vanquish their nightmares. We were alerted to your arrival into our world through magical means, and a search party was sent out to find you. They failed to locate you before nightfall, and so I offered to visit your dreams and speak with you to better determine your whereabouts. Your nephew's mind was the first I visited, but he has taken ill with fever, and was unable to speak to me. Then I entered your brother's mind and rid him of a night terror. In return, he bid me to visit your dream since, as he put it, 'you got the brains of the family', and thus would be more able to aid me."

Confusion, and the beginnings of shame crossed his face, as he slowly lowered the cannon, "You... came to rescue us...?"

She nodded slowly, "Now, may we speak as civilized beings? Or must I subdue you for my own safety?"

His face flushed, and he avoided her stern look, slowly pointing his weapon at the floor. It vanished as the crossbow had. Suddenly, he swayed, and she rushed forward, catching him against her side as he fell, "Sorry..." his voice was sheepish, and a hand went to his head again even as he tried to hide a grimace.

"You've exhausted yourself. You need to rest." she laid down, gently lowering him to the ground and letting him lie against her.

"When my family is safe... Not before." He tried to stand, but Luna caught him in her magic so that he couldn't move. After struggling for a few seconds, he sighed, letting himself go limp with a little chuckle, "I guess you won't take 'no' for an answer."

The lunar alicorn gave a small smile at that, "Let us just say, you are not the only one who has trouble with pride." When she was sure he would not try to stand again, she finished healing his shoulder. Then she released him, and he sat down beside her.

Suddenly he moved forward, putting a hand on her flank. Startled, her wing swept out to knock him away, but he ducked under it.

"What are you-?!"

"You're bleeding," he interrupted, putting both hands to her flank and applying pressure.

"What?" She winced in pain, then looked closer. It was the place where Cipher had struck her, and the slashes had reopened, "Oh, I see. Yes... I was wounded by a nightmare earlier, but if you remove your hands, I can heal it easily." This worried her. The marks should have healed when she had applied her magic to them before. It was true that wounds in the dream were as painful as those in reality, and she could even be slain if not careful, but for her magic to fail in healing a dream wound would mean that was a _physical_ injury... The power needed to cause such damage was rare, even among the worst of night terrors she faced.

He did as she instructed, and she cast another healing spell, covering the injury with bandages as an extra measure. If it was indeed as she suspected, Celestia was surely treating it, and she would find out soon enough on waking.

The stallion leaned back against the nearest bookshelf, wiping his hands clean on the red sweater beneath his coat. He still refused to meet her eyes, "So... What's the penalty for threatening and assaulting a ruling Princess around here?"

"Oh, imprisonment. Or banishment. Or imprisonment in the place to which you are banished," she said breezily.

"Oh..."

"However... I _might_ be inclined to overlook it this once, given your current state of health... Perhaps that concussion impaired your judgement."

"Please, don't. Don't try to tease me, Princess. I nearly killed you... Several times." He paused, suddenly struck by a thought. Studying her for a few moments, he asked his next question slowly, uncertain of how she would take it. "You do realize you could have easily captured me with your telekinesis before our fight even started, right?"

She nodded, waiting for the question she knew was coming.

"Then why didn't you? Why allow me to fight back at all?"

The alicorn took a deep breath, gathering her thoughts before replying, "In another time, long ago, I would not have hesitated to simply overpower you. I might even have slain you, if I thought it necessary. But after..." She trailed off, wondering if she should tell him the whole story, but after a moment's reflection, decided now was not the time. "Well, let us say that I do not like the pony I once was. I am not proud of those past actions, and wish to distance myself from them. Therefore, I sought to try reasoning with you before resorting to combat."

He nodded slowly in understanding. "I'm grateful that you at least tried. But is your sibling so forgiving?"

"She is even more so than I am, actu-" she stopped suddenly, staring at him. "How did you know about my sister? Surely you would not react so aggressively towards an alicorn if you already knew of her."

He smiled a little at that, explaining "I don't know anything about your sister and I've never been to this world before, but you practically told me. Firstly, you said you're one of a Diarchy, so there are two rulers, equal in power. Your nighttime theme tells me the rest," he gestured to her flowing star-filled mane, royal jewelry, and cutie mark. "Given the dual nature of day and night, it makes the most sense that your co-ruler is a sibling, most likely with a daytime theme."

Luna nodded at his reasoning, giving her own smile. "Impressive, and yes, my sister is Ruler of the Day. Her name is Celestia." She shrugged her wings, "In any case, we can discuss that matter later. For now we have more important business: getting you out of the Everfree Forest alive." She projected a map of Equestria on the floor between them.

He shifted position, kneeling to get a better view of the entire map. It looked like a rather uncomfortable posture to her.

She raised a wing invitingly. "Come sit here. The forest is easier to see at this angle, and my fur is more comfortable than the floor."

He blinked in confusion. The look reminded her of an owl, and she suppressed a giggle, "Uh... Are you sure that's not... improper?"

"Nonsense," she said. " No one else is here to see, if that is what bothers you."

He thought it over for a moment, then settled himself with his back and head against her barrel. "Huh... You were right, it is easier to see from here. So you said we're in this forest?" He pointed to the map. "Do you know the quickest way out? It looks like there's a town nearby."

She smiled. "That would be Ponyville. T'is a charming village, but too far for you to reach, I'm afraid." He nodded slowly, but she noticed the furrows in his brow, and sighed, "Have you understood any of the names I have mentioned thus far?"

He shook his head, "No, they sound like meaningless noise to me. I only knew they were names because of the context, but it seems that something got lost in translation. I didn't even get your name, Princess, and I doubt you'd have better luck understanding mine."

"Perhaps," she said thoughtfully, "but surely it could not hurt to try. What is your name?"

" _Vwdq-irug_ Pines," he said slowly and clearly.

Once again she had the impression of stone in the first syllable. But the second was different, this time it was a river which came to mind. But, that was not quite right... The river was shallow here... a crossing?... She nodded slowly, "The last name I understand. But your first is... difficult... The closest my mind can translate it is stone... and... a ford?"

He chuckled at that, then rubbed his chin thoughtfully, "Hm... It's close enough, and what is your name, Your Highness?"

"My name is _Lu-na_ ," she pronounced it as he had his, making each syllable as clear as she could.

His brow furrowed in concentration, "I got two meanings out of that... The first is 'moon'... and the second is 'silver'... Silver Moon seems a fitting name for you." He gestured to her cutie mark. "Would you mind if I called you that? At least until we can get past this language barrier."

She nodded, "Very well, and what am I to call you?"

"Call me Ford," he answered with a smile.

She returned the smile, then gestured back to the map with her horn. "But we should return to the matter at hoof. As I said, this village is too far from you. Unfortunately, I cannot pinpoint your exact location with my magic for a teleport spell, as the forest's own magic disrupts it too much. How fares your group? Can they still travel? I know that your nephew's leg is broken and your brother was posioned by a cocktrice, but what of the others?"

"Well... there's my head injury, and my niece ate some flowers of unknown species and toxicity, but aside from that the most they have are cuts and bruises. We've been without water for a day and a half, so mobility is only going to get worse unless we find some. If my nephew is feverish, then his leg is probably infected, and there's no telling how long my brother has..."

"A day or two at most without treatment," Luna said quietly.

"I thought as much..." His shoulders slumped, and he rested his hand in his hands, the picture of dejection. "You saw the results of my search for answers from what knowledge I have." He gestured around at the scattered books.

"There is still time. As for your nephew, sallow"-she stopped herself, remembering the tree's modern name-" _willow_ bark will help to lessen his fever and ease the pain from his leg."

He perked up at that. "Willow? How did I understand that name...? We are talking about the same tree, right?" He pulled a photograph of a willow tree from inside his trench coat and showed it to her.

She nodded, "The very same! But why did you not give him some sooner, if you knew?"

He sighed, looking at the picture. "If we were still human, I wouldn't have hesitated, but I couldn't risk it in our current forms. It could have poisoned him for all I knew."

"A wise decision, but you needn't fear. That herb at least, is safe."

"What about the flowers my niece ate?"

"Show me. I am no apothecarist, but it may be a common plant."

He pulled another picture from his coat, this time of blue flowers. She recognized them at once, and tried to stifle her laugh, "Poison Joke?! Oh dear..."

The stallion scowled, crossing his arms over his chest, "I fail to see how something with 'poison' in its name strikes you as funny."

She shook her head, quickly composing herself. "You misunderstand me." She gave a reassuring smile, "That plant will cause her no harm, but it is magical in nature. It plays practical jokes on any creature that touches it by changing their physical attributes. I am unsure what exactly happens if you eat it... But, most likely the same thing."

His expression changed to one of curiousity. "Interesting... What kind of changes does it make?"

She conjured a photograph of Twilight Sparkle and her friends. "This is my sister's former pupil and her friends. They are the ones currently searching for you."

He pointed to Twilight as he studied the picture. "Another alicorn? Is she royality as well?"

"She is. That is Princess Twilight Sparkle."

Now he looked confused, "That... doesn't make sense. You and your sister rule, but you didn't call yourselves 'queens'... If 'princess' is the highest authority, how does that work in a Diarchy if there are three of you? Does she rule a different kingdom?"

She thought about that for a moment, impressed again by his quick wit, but unsure of how to explain. "T'is a bit... complicated. I will explain later."

"I look forward to it, but what does this have to do with poison joke?"

She conjured another photograph, "This is what happened after her assistant dumped poison joke blossoms on them as a Fool's Day prank."

Now it was his turn to try stifling his laughter at the sight, "Wow! I'd better not let my brother near those. He loves pranks! Heh..." he cleared his throat, "I assume there's an antidote?"

"A simple herbal bath removes the effects."

"Good. Good..." His gaze had returned to the map, lost in thought, "I see a river runs through here, and what looks to be some old ruins. If we could reach them, could our rescue party use those as landmarks?"

She focused her magic, and as her horn lit, so did a patch of forest on the map in between the river and the ruins, "This glow is roughly where you are, according to my spell. Head east, and you should find the ruins of an ancient castle. They are a well known landmark, and you will have shelter from the elements and the creatures of the forest. I will inform the others to wait for you there."

For the first time since she had met him, a look of relief crossed his face. But then a look of suspension clouded his features, "But how do I know I can trust you?"

She shook her head sadly, then locked eyes with him. "If you truly do not trust me... Then nothing I say will convince you. That choice is yours alone. But a more pressing question is, can you afford not to?"

He held her gaze for several moments, then sighed, shaking his head. Standing up as she banished the map, he bowed low to her again. "Thank you, Your Highness."

She shook her head again, her expression grave. "Do not thank me just yet. This is all I can do for you, and dangers still lie ahead." She looked him over one last time, looked into his eyes. The unknown fear still lingered, but there was something else in their depths as well, some inner strength...

"But I think you can make it."

A nod was his only reply, before moving to sit at the table. He began to sort through the pile of books and scrolls.

She plucked the pile out of his reach with a mass levitation. "Not more digging through those tonight," she chided, as he swiped to grab something out of the pile while trying to protest. She conjured a bed, and placed the stack of reference material back on the table. "You have a concussion. Your mind as well as your body needs to rest, or you risk making it worse."

The stallion crossed his arms over his chest, looking for all the world like a grumpy owl.

Luna hid her amusement behind a stern expression, and pointed a hoof at the bed.

He huffed, giving the closest she had ever seen to a pout on any adult. Then he sighed, rolled his eyes, and reluctantly climbed into the bed, not even bothering to remove his glasses or boots. He was snoring moments after his head touched the pillow.

Luna allowed herself a gentle smile, and a quiet laugh. She conjured a parchment map of Equestria, placing it on the bed beside him, "Good luck," she whispered, then spread her wings, flying into the dark mist, and out of the dream.

* * *

 **Author's Note:** This story got featured on Equestria Daily! Also, sorry this took so long to finish. The fight scene between Luna and Ford was a little harder to write than I thought it would be. But I hope you like how it turned out! :)


	10. Deleted Scene: Nightmares & Dreamwalking

Author's Note: Apologizes for the delayed chapter + a deleted scene

I've been distracted these past few weeks by one thing or another (including the USA elections), and as a result suffered a bit of writer's block. Also, I wrote a whole segment featuring Luna visiting Mabel's dream, and was working on her visiting the others-when one of my editors, MyOwnNameWasTaken, made me realize that those scenes were adding nothing but unneeded drag to the story. As Mabel's dream was the only scene finished, I'm putting it here as a "deleted scene", and will move the next chapter to focus on the following morning when everybody wakes up.

Here's the scene to tide you over for now. Hope you enjoy!

* * *

Extra: Nightmares and Dreamwalking (Part 3)

Looking at the other dream doors, Luna debated leaving them and returning to the waking world to inform Celestia of her findings. But then it occurred to her that she had no idea how well humans remembered their dreams as opposed to ponies, and in addition, the three she had visited were not in good health, making dream recall even more unlikely.

Better to visit all of them, she decided, heading to the door covered in colorful stickers. Upon entering this dream, she had to squint her eyes at the bright spectrum of colors. She strongly suspected that some of the colors here would only be visible to bees and master painters. The place looked as though a child's toy chest and a yarn factory had met in a Sonic Rainboom. Luna stood atop a hill overlooking a vast rolling plain dotted with ponds. A forest loomed in the distance, and many creatures wandered the land below her. The scenery was entirely woven from different colors of yarn: the ground, the plants, the water, the sky, even the sun and clouds. All of it was yarn. The various animals roaming the place, on the other hoof, were all living plush dolls, but there was no sign of the dreaming human.

A sudden scream caught her attention, and she saw a human filly riding out of the woods atop a plush pig. It appeared the alicorn had arrived just at the beginnings of a nightmare. The child was wearing a blue sweater with pink writing on it and matching blue skirt. Save for the longer mane, she looked identical to the human colt. _So, the niece and nephew are another pair of twins. Interesting..._

Then Luna noticed the cause of her distress. Racing out of the woods behind the filly was a pack of timberwolves-but there was something odd about them. Studying them further, she realized that the creatures were not made of wood, but clay. Meanwhile, the filly had turned around backwards on her mount and was now shooting bolts at the wolves from a crossbow, and she seemed to have good aim. But than again, this _was_ her dream...

"Die, you black magic monstrosities! Die!" she yelled, firing bolt after bolt at the creatures.

Although the bolts destroyed them on impact with small glittery explosions, the timberwolves simply kept reforming. Luna made a mental note to ask about her "black magic" comment as she soared towards the chase. As she flew, she noticed that the plush animals had disappeared, and the ground was quickly changing from yarn into soft clay.

The ground shifted under the plush pig, miring it. As the filly noticed her pig's trouble and saw the wolves closing in, she pulled a strange grappling hook from inside her sweater sleeve and fired it at a passing cloud overhead. "Grappling hook! Works every time!" she boasted in triumph as it pulled her towards the cloud and out of reach of the clay monsters.

Except it didn't.

The rope snapped halfway up, and she fell, shrieking, towards the swamp of clay and the waiting timberwolves.

Luna's magic quickly caught her, and carefully deposited the startled child onto her back. It felt odd having a rider, but the filly was not heavy to carry. "Are you alright?" she asked, looking back over her shoulder.

The filly yelped in fright, only saving herself from a fall by grabbing handfuls of Luna's mane. But the expression slowly changed to one of concern as she studied the alicorn more closely. "What happened to your face? You look terrible."

The dreamwalker blinked in confusion, and seeing this, the filly conjured a small mirror and held it up. Luna sighed, realizing that although her muzzle was healed, it was still covered in blood.

"Do not worry, it only _looks_ worse than it is. One of your uncles hit me," she said simply. "I made the mistake of startling him while I was inside his dream."

"Was it _Juxqfoh Vwdq_? He _does_ like punching things..."

There was another unknown word. But she did recognize the sound for the beginning of "Stone Clearing"'s name. "Actually, no, it was your other uncle... Ford?"

The filly looked up in confusion, having been distracted by Luna's mane, "Huh? _Juxgfoh_ Ford? You must have snuck up on him pretty good to get punched. Usually he likes shooting things." She went back to gently combing her hands through the stars in the alicorn's mane, "How do you get your hair to do this? It's like you've got the real night sky in here..." she trailed off, her eyes wide in wonder.

"Hm, yes, I noticed," Luna said wryly to the comment about Ford. At the filly's question about her mane, she only chuckled softly. Then a puzzled look crossed her face and she said, "You do not seem surprised to find me in here. Why is that?"

"Trust me," the filly said, waving a hand dismissively, "I've seen _much_ weirder things than a flying unicorn before, and you did save me from that nightmare. Plus, if you were an evil dreamwalker, both my _juxgfohv_ would have kicked your butt." She peered at Luna thoughtfully for several moments before adding, "I still don't like unicorns as much as I used to, but you've got wings, so you're not _really_ a unicorn, are you?"

Luna decided not to correct the girl's boast about her uncles. Instead she nodded at the clever observation of her species, "I am called an alicorn. But tell me, child, what caused this dislike of unicorns?"

"It's a long story, but the short version is I used to be obsessed with them. Then I actually met some and they turned out to be total jerks."

"I'm sorry to hear that. But do not worry, many unicorns here in Equestria are quite pleasant folk. Now, young filly-"

"Call me _Pdeho_."

Luna blinked, her brow furrowing in concentration. Unlike her uncles, the filly's name had no physical translation*. It was not representative of an object or place, so the meaning was harder to puzzle out. The closest she could get was a feeling of love. Not the romantic kind, but rather...

She shook her head. She could guess at the filly's name later. There was a more pressing matter right now. "Little one, I need to you to listen carefully to me. This is very important."

The girl stopped toying with the night-sky mane again and sat up straighter, focusing her full attention on Luna's face.

Satisfied, Luna nodded and continued, "There is a rescue party coming to find you. Friends of mine are looking for you all, to help you escape the forest." Landing on a nearby cloud, she let the child slide off her back, and then conjured a three-dimensional map of Equestria, as well as a picture of Twilight and her friends.

"You and your family are somewhere around here, and you need to reach these castle ruins," she said, highlighting those areas on the map. Gesturing to the photograph, she continued, "These mares will be expecting you at the ruins. They can get you to safety from there. Do you understand?"

The child nodded, thought for a moment, then asked, "Why are you telling me though? Couldn't you tell the others in their dreams?"

"I have told your uncles already," Luna said, "but I do not know how well humans remember their dreams, and both your uncles and your brother are ill from your time in the forest. So I intend to tell all of you, to be sure that at least one remembers my words."

"That makes sense, I guess... But you should hurry, I don't know how long you have left before they wake up. I'll try to remember at least!"

The alicorn nodded. "That is all I ask. Will you be alright once I leave?"

 _Pdeho_ smiled, pointing to the ground below. "I think I'm good." Her dreamscape had returned to the yarn covered world with its living plush toys. This time a winged pig flew up to greet her, and she climbed onto it's back, waving goodbye. "Good luck!"

Luna smiled, and turning to leave, found a door already open for her. She stepped through, and found herself back in the star filled realm of sleep.

* * *

*According to the "behindthename" website (which is where I found the meanings for Stan, Ford, and Luna's names), Mabel is the "Medieval feminine form of Amabilis", which means "loveable".


	11. Status Update

(I realize that my last version of this might have been very confusing. Hopefully this one is easier to understand.)

I'm in a writing contest! The website WorldAnvil and YouTube channel Tale Foundry have teamed up to offer a Forging Worlds Challenge! :)

I'm having fun with it so far :) but I need actual "likes" on my stuff to advance in the thing.

What we're supposed to do is come up with a setting for a story seed. The seed is this:

"There have been creatures hiding in plain sight among the populace for centuries, but only now are the people becoming aware. They must race over the course of the next week to prevent the catastrophe that will result from their discovery."

Do you guys want to see what I've got? Feedback and especially likes are welcome!

My entries for the challenge are in a category at the bottom of my world's main page.

Sadly, Fanfic won't let anyone post website links in here, so the only way to find my story world is by going to WorldAnvil (google it) and using the search bar there to find:

"dracora" by fmmm1000

This stuff isn't just for the contest, it's also the world for eventual short stories and/or a novel I've been working on and off for the past decade or so.

This is the first time I've ever shown this world off to a larger audience. Let me know what you guys think. Would you be interesting in reading stories set in this world? Or seeing them if I decide to try a comics route?

In other news, I would like to apologize for the lack of updates. :( Real life has had me busy elsewhere. Mainly a friendship problem which has brought on a bad case of writer's block. :(

I'm been rewatching MLP and Gravity Falls again to try and get my muse back. This contest in the meanwhile does seem to be helping, so hopefully you'll have a new chapter to enjoy here soon! :)


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